Wednesday, November 2, 2016

The Role of A Man and A Woman in Marriage

People that are not married wish they were. And people that are married wish they weren't. Okay, okay, maybe not. Of course there are happily single people and there are happily married people, but happiness in marriage takes time. Men are so annoying and immature, and us women can be so emotional and petty.  So I decided to write down a few things that will help the singles in the future, and the married folks.

The top four reasons marriages don't work out are due to:
  • Finances
  • Poor Communication
  • Infidelity
  • Internal Insecurities and other issues
So these are pretty self explanatory, but if you want me to go into details on each one, just leave a comment below and I will. Now that you know what causes divorce, you need to know what you can do to avoid it. You can't change a person, but you can change yourself.

The Role of a Woman- In a Man's Mind

In a man's mind, (yes I've been there) we are slaves. End of story. I know, it's a lot to take in, but it's the truth.There's nothing more to it really. You're not a good woman if you don't do everything.  You have to cook, clean, take care of the children, be a pornstar in the bedroom, have sex with them everyday, be a good listener, be supportive, do the laundry, bring in a little extra income, and everything else there is to do around the house. If you are not doing all that, you ain't nothing.

The Role of a Woman- In a Woman's Mind

Is to take care of her children and her husband. If that means buying Subway everyday, she'll do that. If that means taking your clothes to the dry cleaners, she'll do that too. But she's not going to allow herself to be overworked and underpaid. And that's the end of that.

The Role of a Man- In a Man's Mind

In a man's mind, his role is to provide and protect his family. That's it. He's happy to do extra, but doesn't like to be told to do anything. He might like to be handy or he might pay someone else to be.  He might even cook, clean, help with the children...etc, because he knows it will make you feel happy, or he expects a lil treat in return.

The Role of a Man - In a Woman's Mind

He needs to provide completely. That's right, he needs to be paying all the bills! He needs to make sure his wife and children are well taken care off. And...he needs to help out with everything else, especially when his wife is exhausted. That's all.

In order to have a successful marriage you have to understand your roles. Have a sit down, and talk about what your partner expects from you and what you expect from your partner. If you don't that's where the problems begin. That's when the wife starts being lazy, because you're not helping her with nothing. Or that's when the man wants out, because he's doing your work while you're relaxing. Or that's when the woman is looking elsewhere for affection because you suck,  or that's why he's telling Joann what a bad wife you are, because he's hungry and the house is always messy. I'm just saying!

If you know what's expected from you, just do it. That's the key to a successful marriage. If you know you're not doing much, don't expect your partner to do too much. If you know you are doing too much, tell your partner to step his/her game up. Marriage requires work. But once each person understands their role and carries their weight, happiness is right around the corner.

Monday, June 20, 2016

How To Spice Up Your Relationship

When you think of spices, what comes to mind? You think of herbs, delicious added flavors, usually to make food taste better, right? Well, relationships need spices also, not literal spices, but the concept of adding flavor to make it better. There's only one way to do that. Try something new. Simple right?

 Add Physical Spice

Try something new outside the bedroom walls. If you're having sex only in the bedroom, only at a certain time, or in the same positions, it's time to add some spice. Be intimate with your partner in new locations (travel), try new positions, add new toys...etc. Being physical is not only about sex, you can also do things together that you have never done before such as yoga, playing tennis, going for a dance lesson, painting together, gardening, and so much more.

Add Verbal Spice

Say new things that you normally won't say. Communicate to your partner your love and appreciation for him/her at least once a day. You can communicate in other ways such as a poem, love note in his/her lunch bag, spontaneous text message ...etc. Saying it out of your mouth, while looking into your partner's eyes is highly recommended. Along with communicating your love, communication overall is essential in a relationship. Always share your experiences, your concerns, your thoughts with your partner respectfully.

The Ultimate Spice - Mental Spice

Mental spice can only be achieved with a combination of physical and verbal spice. Mental spice deals with your partner's internal connection to you, how you make him/her feel based on the things you say or do. With the right amount of physical and verbal spice(not too much, but not too little) you will keep your partner confident about the relationship, wanting you, thinking about you, and continuously growing more in love with you. Mental spice is the ultimate goal for all relationships. This connection helps your partner to know and respect your likes and dislikes. This is when your partner is able to trust you, their thoughts about you is overly positive (negativity does not stand a chance), and he/she knows that you are on their side no matter what.

Never force your partner to do anything, respect each other and the union. I hope this was helpful to you and your relationship. Go forth and try something new! Spice up your life!

Friday, May 27, 2016

Men Before You Cheat Read This

Lately, it seems like "cheating men" are trending. And it's very upsetting. So I've decided to give you men a little heads up on the damage you may cause. Ladies you can add your two cents in the comments below. Before you cheat,  know that this is how most woman will feel if you cheat on her, and  how you might feel if you are caught cheating.

You Don't Love Her
It's better to walk away from someone that you don't love, than to pretend to love them and intentionally hurt them. You might think in your head that you love this person, but deep down inside you don't. You might care for them, but you don't genuinely love them. If you truly love someone, you will never intentionally do something that will crush their heart. Cheating on someone is not a mistake. All relationships go through a process, even cheating relationships. You meet someone, you flirt with them, y'all have conversations, go out on dates, and the next thing you know.... their tongue is down your throat. No mistake there, that's an intent that was executed. Just walk away before you decide to cheat.

Trust Don't Live Here Anymore
Still wanna cheat? The aftermath of cheating is that she just won't trust you like she did before. You could apologize a million times and promise till your lips fall off your face. The trust just won't be the same. And where trust is lacking, unhappiness resides. Which leads me to my next point.

You Will Feel Like Crap- 100% Guaranteed
If you think the person you cheated on feels like crap, wait until you witness their emotions after you've intentionally hurt them. Wait until they've told their family members and friends about what you did to them. You will feel like the most enormous pile of cow feces that ever existed. And because you feel like crap, you will try to make her feel like crap. Like it's her fault you're a cheating scum. If you cheated on someone and don't feel like crap, then point 1 is true, and you're just a crappy person. Real talk.

You Stay, They Hurt
After you've cheated on that person, they forgave you, and decided to stay with you....problems! You will still hurt them, whether you want to or not. Of course God can whip up some type of miracle, but if you don't have a tight relationship with him.....well there's no coming back from a cheat. Yes God can help you with the forgiving process, and he can help you tolerate the person, but he won't erase your memory. One can attempt to hide it or forget about it, but every time she's upset with you, she will remember you cheated, and instantly be 10X angrier than she should be. She will try to love you, but you have made yourself somewhat unlovable. It's hard to love someone that has hurt you so deeply. 

Created a Damaged Heart
Some women recover after being hurt and find someone that will truly love them for who they are. But others, well thanks to someone cheating on them, will be bitter for the rest of their lives. They will have their guards up all the time, they will frown at the appearance of love, they won't trust anyone, and they will think everyone might do them the exact same thing that a cheater did to them. So they will remain single, not because they want to, but because of what a cheater have done to their heart, it's damaged.

Men, before you cheat....don't. It's better to walk away from the relationship than to cheat.
Ladies, have you ever been cheated on? Share your thoughts in the comments below.

Wednesday, May 18, 2016

People Are Such Disappointments

I've always known that you cannot put your trust in people, and that somewhere down the line, people might end up being such a disappointment. However, I try to be optimistic and give each relationship a fair chance at becoming something great. Of course, I'm no expert at relationships, but I've had quite a few and they usually end almost the same. Even when relationships become great, the greatness fades, and disappointment tries to make a comeback.
On April 17, 2016 I found out that my Dad had passed. And although my relationship with my Dad was not perfect, it was our relationship and I truly loved him. His death was expected, but at the time unexpected. And as much as I prepared myself for this day, when it came, I felt unprepared. I had my several moments of weakness, but God! People that I thought were for me, seemed against me. People that I felt would've supported me, didn't. People that I didn't expect to care, cared the most.  Things were said from mouths that belonged shut. But in my moments of anger, sadness, and weakness, God showed me his love through people, and God showed me how the enemy can also use people to try to come against me.  
At the end of the day, people are only a disappointment, if you allow them to be. Have no expectations of people, that way no matter what they do or say, it will never truly affect you. The enemy can never steal your joy, unless you allow it. During my sadness God blessed me. And in my moments of great joy and gratefulness, he keeps on blessing me. Put your trust in God and not man, because God will never disappoint.

Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Reasons Why Ben Higgins Chose Lauren Bushnell and Not Jojo Fletcher

I am a huge Bachelor fan. I've been watching it since I was in high school. Who doesn't like the idea of falling in love? I know I do. This season's bachelor, Ben Higgins chose his bride to be Lauren Bushnell. Yasssss! Some people were team Jojo, but I knew that he would pick Lauren, especially after the women's hometowns. He literally teared up when asked what he likes about Lauren. Ben said he didn't know who he wanted to be with up to the very last minute. He said that he tried to be as honest as possible, which he did try, but you can never love two people, not the same at least. That's just a fact. So telling the women...."I don't know", "Nothing went wrong"....bla, bla, bla..was just bull in my opinion. Here are the real reasons why Ben chose Lauren and not Jojo:

Reason #1
Jojo's brother rubbed him the wrong way.

Jojo's brother felt that Ben was a liar, and..... he was right.. kinda. Ben did not feel the same way Jojo did about him obviously. He was intimidated by her brothers and just never wanted to have to deal with them ever again. I get it. No one wants to marry someone that they've bumped heads with their family members from day one, especially over-protective brothers. The holidays just won't be as enjoyable as they should be.

Reason #2
Jojo is too hot for him.

Lauren is cute too. But keep in mind that Ben comes from a religious background, so to have a woman that shows off her God given boobies a lot.....he might not exactly want to settle down with her. Don't get me wrong, if I had her boobs I would show them off too....maybe a lil less. Anyways, most men see women that show their boobies a lot as sexual objects, and not too much wife material. Maybe that's why he kept Jojo around so long; he was in lust not love. Or because he wanted to prove her brothers wrong, but ended up proving them right. Whatever.

Reason #3
The ex-boyfriend thingy.

Jojo's ex-boyfriend wrote her a letter during the show stating that  he loves her and wants to be with her. And that he believes she is his soulmate...bla, bla, bla. Ben handled it well, but deep down inside it probably was still lingering in his brains. Also, Ben said that he had some bad history with girls and their ex-boyfriends still being in the picture. He stated, and I quote, "It never ends well". Well at least that's what I thought I heard.  

Reason #4
This reason was contributed by a male, not my opinion at all.
Jojo might not age well.

The old saying goes... if you want to see what your wife will look like when she's older, take a good look at her mother. And while Jojo is gorgeous, Lauren might age better based on how their mothers look. I know right...ridiculous.  But apparently men do these things.

Bottom line, Ben  chose Lauren because he actually loved her, and Jojo had too many reasons against her. Lauren on the other hand was perfect, except for the lie that was told about her being different behind Ben's back. But that was a lie. He loved her from the very beginning(he said that also) and he knew it. No idea why he was keeping Jojo around to toy with, but that's kinda how this show works.  Lauren is "his person". Yayyyyyy! I wish them all the best. They are perfect together. Jojo is gorgeous and I believe she will find her prince charming as The Bachelorette. Can't wait to watch her journey.