It was Summer of '08, when we formally introduced ourselves to each other. We worked at a supermarket together, but I never paid him much attention. It was always common greetings, good mornings, and hellos. He was very handsome, very muscular, cute smile too, but much older. He was a grown man and I was just a minor, a child. At least that was what I thought initially. Looking at my name tag he said, "Hi Kacy." And this is where it all began.
I smiled and said hi. We exchanged numbers a couple weeks later. We spoke on the phone for hours. We talked about anything, we talked about everything for weeks. We snuck hugs at work, but we never hung out outside of work, except for this one time. I figured with our age difference, it wasn't in his best interest to be seen chilling with a minor. But I'm sure you would want to know about the 'one time', right? Well there was this one time we hung out outside of work.
He picked me up after work and drove me to his second job. It was at a very pretty resort. We sat outside talking for hours. No, I was not afraid. I felt safe with him. I trusted him. During our conversation, he paused. He looked at me, then held my face with his big manly hands, and started to kiss me. I had no idea what to do, but I felt his warm tongue in my mouth. And as gross as I thought this should be, I actually liked it. He moved his hands along my body, and it felt great. I felt loved. I felt sexy. I felt wanted. I believe he wanted more than just a kiss, but my mothers voice rang in my head, "men only want what's between your legs Kacy". I contemplated whether or not I should let him have me. But I decided nah. If I'm going to have sex with the man, he needs to at least be my boyfriend and not just a friend.
Well, let's just say that night was our first and last kiss. What happened next, you'll probably think I deserved it. And that's what I got for being too fast, too nasty, and too naïve. You're probably right, but in that moment, I loved the feeling of being loved.
I figured since he was ready to be intimate with me, that he would be ready to commit to me. I asked him, " Would you like me to be your girlfriend?" He smiled. "I like you a lot Kacy, but you can't be my girlfriend," he said. "What! What do you mean I can't be your girlfriend? I thought you liked me? Then why did you kiss me? Why did you bring me here?," I responded angrily. I was angry, and became instantly frustrated. I was confused. I felt tricked. I felt like a fool. "Come, let me take you home", he said. I got into the car, I was silent, he was silent. He arrived at my home. "You're angry right now, so I'll tell you why tomorrow", he said as I exited his car. I said nothing. I got out of his stupid car and went into my home. I was heartbroken, I was crushed. I cried myself to sleep, but I also anticipated hearing his reason behind not wanting me to be his girlfriend.
It could not have been my age, I thought. Because he was perfectly fine with flirting, touching, and kissing a minor. So what was it? The next day, I approached him. "So, why don't you want to be my boyfriend", I asked. "Because I have a girlfriend," he replied. "You have a what?", I shouted. "You have a girlfriend. Yet you're flirting with me, touching me, and kissing me", I continued. "I almost had sex with you. You're a sick man, just leave me alone," I said holding back my tears as I walked away. He tried talking to me after that, but I ignored him. I trusted him, and that trust was broken. I later found out that his girlfriend was also my co-worker. A sweet, kind woman, very pretty too. That was the end of our friendship. Although I cared for him and liked him a lot, I was not going to knowinly be the side chick, but I kinda was a side chick. I felt so stupid. I should have known better. That summer ended with a heartbreak, but it taught me a valuable lesson. Trust no man and Mama knows best.
Have you ever felt betrayed by a man, share your experience in the comments below.
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