Monday, November 9, 2015

Being The Side Chick: Short Story

It was Summer of '08, when we formally introduced ourselves to each other. We worked at a supermarket together, but I never paid him much attention. It was always common greetings, good mornings, and hellos. He was very handsome, very muscular, cute smile too, but much older. He was a grown man and I was just a minor, a child. At least that was what I thought initially. Looking at my name tag he said, "Hi Kacy." And this is where it all began.

I smiled and said hi. We exchanged numbers a couple weeks later. We spoke on the phone for hours. We talked about anything, we talked about everything for weeks. We snuck hugs at work, but we never hung out outside of work, except for this one time. I figured with our age difference, it wasn't in his best interest to be seen chilling with a minor. But I'm sure you would want to know about the 'one time', right? Well there was this one time we hung out outside of work.

He picked me up after work and drove me to his second job. It was at a very pretty resort. We sat outside talking for hours. No, I was not afraid. I felt safe with him. I trusted him. During our conversation, he paused. He looked at me, then  held my face with his big manly hands, and started to kiss me. I had no idea what to do, but I felt his warm tongue in my mouth. And as gross as I thought this should be, I actually liked it. He moved his hands along my body, and it felt great. I felt loved. I felt sexy. I felt wanted. I believe he wanted more than just a kiss, but my mothers voice rang in my head, "men only want what's between your legs Kacy". I contemplated whether or not I should let him have me. But I decided nah. If I'm going to have sex with the man, he needs to at least be my boyfriend and not just a friend.

Well, let's just say that night was our first and last kiss. What happened next, you'll probably think I deserved it. And that's what I got for being too fast, too nasty, and too naïve. You're probably right, but in that moment, I loved the feeling of being loved.

I figured since he was ready to be intimate with me, that he would be ready to commit to me. I asked him, " Would you like me to be your girlfriend?" He smiled. "I like you a lot Kacy, but you can't be my girlfriend," he said. "What! What do you mean I can't be your girlfriend? I thought you liked me? Then why did you kiss me? Why did you bring me here?," I responded angrily. I was angry, and became instantly frustrated. I was confused. I felt tricked. I felt like a fool. "Come, let me take you home", he said. I got into the car, I was silent, he was silent. He arrived at my home. "You're angry right now, so I'll tell you why tomorrow", he said as I exited his car. I said nothing. I got out of his stupid car and went into my home. I was heartbroken, I was crushed. I cried myself to sleep, but I also anticipated hearing his reason behind not wanting me to be his girlfriend.

It could not have been my age, I thought. Because he was perfectly fine with flirting, touching, and kissing a minor. So what was it? The next day, I approached him. "So, why don't  you want to be my boyfriend", I asked. "Because I have a girlfriend," he replied. "You have a what?", I shouted. "You have a girlfriend. Yet you're flirting with me, touching me, and kissing me", I continued. "I almost had sex with you. You're a sick man, just leave me alone," I said holding back my tears as I walked away. He tried talking to me after that, but I ignored him. I trusted him, and that trust was broken. I later found out that his girlfriend was also my co-worker. A sweet, kind woman, very pretty too. That was the end of our friendship. Although I cared for him and liked him a lot, I was not going to knowinly be the side chick, but I kinda was a side chick. I felt so stupid. I should have known better. That summer ended with a heartbreak, but it taught me a valuable lesson. Trust no man and Mama knows best.

Have you ever felt betrayed by a man, share your experience in the comments below.

If  you have a short story of your own that you would like me to share on my blog, send me an email. I would love to read and/or share it.

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

Oral Sex Is Evil




"A women that respects herself and her body will not perform oral sex. Oral sex is a disgrace to the person performing it. It is evil. The vagina and the penis were created for one purpose only, and that's to reproduce, not to be sucked/licked on." This is someone's opinion about oral sex, is it true or nah? Let's talk about it.

When I first heard about oral sex I thought  it was something done by nasty women, prostitutes, whores..ect. I saw it on porns, and the guys/girls absolutely loved it(confession lol). I was disgusted by it, ewwww. Something about sucking where a man pees from grossed me out.

However, I believe sex was designed for marriage. To be experienced with someone you love, trust, and will be there for you till death do you part. Oral sex is not a sin if done within marriage. 1 Corinthians 7:4 states: "The wife does not have authority over her own body, but the husband does; and likewise also the husband does not have authority over his own body, but the wife does. " This verses and the verses that follows explains this perfectly. So if your husband/wife wants to lick, suck, nibble on all parts of your body, well he/she has authority over your body to do so, no?

Share your thoughts in the comments below. Am I wrong, do you believe oral sex is evil?

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Top 5 Beauty Favorites


I am not  a product junkie, but I occasionally try new products. For the most part, I'm simple. I stick to what works for me. Who knows, what works for me, might just work for you. Here are my top 5 beauty favorites:

1. The Aveeno, Active Naturals, Clear Complexion Foaming Cleanser

I've been using this for almost a year now and absolutely love it. It leaves your face feeling fresh and looking clean and clear.

2. The Mary Kay Crème to Powder Foundation

If you want an everyday, light makeup, this is it. This is perfect for the "no makeup, makeup look". You won't feel like you have makeup on, but it gives you just the right amount of coverage.

3. Mac Eyebrow Pencil

After filling in your brows with this pencil, it will look so natural. I guarantee it. It's the best.

4. Black Radiance Baked Blush

I needed a blush that made me looked polished, beautiful, and not like a clown. This one works perfectly for my dark skin.

5. Purple/Plum Lipstick or Lip-gloss

If you need a little color in your life, you can't go wrong with a pretty shade of purple or plum lipstick. I have a few different shades, many different brands, but they are all equally pretty on my full lips.

I hope you enjoyed my beauty favorites. Maybe some of my favorites can become yours. Try them out.

What are some of  your beauty favorites? Let me know in the comments below.

Wednesday, June 3, 2015

Top 5 Favorite Movies



In the past, I watched a lot of movies, but there were just a few that I'd watch over, and over, and over again. Here are my top 5 favorite movies:

1  | Rumble in the Bronx 1995
What?! You don't think Jackie's movies are hilarious? Well some of them aren't, but Rumble in the Bronx was quite entertaining. I liked this movie a lot!

2  |  Mrs. Doubtfire 1993
To this day if Mrs. Doubtfire is airing on the TV, I'll watch it all over again. This movie was probably my favoritest, if that's even a word.

3 |  Matilda 1996
I despised Ms. Trunchbull, so when Matilda found her power, I was so excited. I remember pretending I had powers too. Which lead to my love for super hero movies, and supernatural stuff. Good times!

4  | Pocahontas 1995
Now that I'm older, I probably don't view the movie the same. In my head, I'm thinking they did not create this movie for children to watch. There was a little bit of everything in there. Nonetheless, I watched it so much, that at one point in time, I could've quoted every line in the movie, and sang every song. But now, I'm very skeptical about Disney movies. But Pocahontas was still one of my favorites.

5  | The Mask 1994
I use to love watching Jim Carey movies, and the Mask was my all time favorite. He is so funny! If you want a good laugh, definitely watch this movie.


These were my most repeatedly watched movies of all time. If you haven't watched them, check them out.

What are some of your favorite movies? Let me know in the comments below.



Peace and Love,





Friday, May 29, 2015

Top 5 Things I Enjoyed in Puerto Rico


My husband and I celebrated our anniversary in Puerto Rico, and we absolutely loved every minute of it. Here are the top 5 things we enjoyed in Puerto Rico.

The Sceneries

Puerto Rico is beautiful! The landscapes, some of the buildings, the beaches, the forest,...etc, all unique and it has lots of  breathtaking views. We went to Old San Juan to visit some of the tourist attractions, the Fort was definitely a workout, but it was worth it. Then we walked around the town area, the roads are cool, very fitting with the design of the buildings. It's one thing to see it in a picture, but another to see it for yourself.


The Food

We ate at so many different restaurants, and all the food was amazing.  But our ultimate favorite restaurant was Oceano. The food was delicious and the workers were very friendly. Our server was Juan Puablo, he was a sweetheart. If you ever visit Puerto Rico, you must go there and try anything, especially their calamari. It's the best calamari, you'll ever have.

The Shops

Living in the Virgin Islands, we don't have a lot of the American stores such as Charlotte Russe, Zara, Victoria Secret, Sephora..etc, but Puerto Rico does! And the prices are so much cheaper than in the Virgin Islands. Too bad all that is gonna change when they increase their taxes. Ah well, glad I got my shopping done.

The People

Surprisingly all the people we encountered were very friendly. We saw lots of smiling faces, and they were very helpful. That's a major plus!

The Room

After a long day touring the island, it's nice to unwind and relax. We stayed at the newly built Hyatt Houses. The room was clean and very relaxing. The staff were pleasant and polite. It's also a great place to stay if you plan on traveling with the kiddies. We didn't, but in the future we will.


Puerto Rico was awesome! If you haven't been there, you should make your way there sometime in life.

Peace and Love,


     ♥

Friday, May 15, 2015

Washing Natural Hair | The Twisty Wash Method


For many years my hair and I have had a love/hate relationship. It's super thick and kinky/tightly coiled. Growing up people always said I had 'good hair'. When it came to washing my hair, there was nothing good about it. Which lead me to relaxing my hair in the 11 grade. Not only was it hard to manage, I didn't know what to do with it(styles).  But now with this Natural Hair Movement, I learned that my natural hair is versatile. I try new products, and methods, to see what works for my hair.  Which lead me to this method of washing my hair, I call it "The Twisty Wash Method."



Step 1 - Wet Hair.

Step 2 - Lather hair with shampoo(preferably organic, sulfate free..etc).

Step 3- Massage hair and scalp.

Step 4- Rinse out shampoo.

Step 5- Repeat steps 1-4.

Step 6- Apply your favorite conditioner. If you would like to do a deep conditioning treatment: add product, put on a shower cap, and let sit for 15 minutes-1 hour, or as directed on product instructions.

Step 7- Gently detangle by separating hair into small sections, brush to detangle, twist the hair, and then put a rubber band at the ends. You can use your hands to detangle, but I prefer to use the Revlon True Red Brush,  or  a Denman brush.  The purpose for the rubber bands are to prevent the hair from unraveling in Step 9.

Step 8. Repeat step 7 until all your hair is twisted.

STEP 9: **THE TWISTY WASH METHOD SECRET**- Thoroughly rinse out conditioner while your hair remains twisted. Tip: To be sure all product is removed from hair, wet and squeeze. 

Step 10: Remove excess water by squeezing or using a t-shirt/towel. Then style. I love to air dry my hair, but you can apply heat. Your choice. And you're done!

Your hair will be soft, and easy to manage, with little to no shedding. I also did a video if you would like to see exactly how I do it on my hair. Check it out.


Thursday, April 9, 2015

7 Ways to Identify Mr. Wrong | Investigate Your Future Husband


Finding Mr. Right is a struggle. But finding Mr. Wrong, not so much. Sometimes we can confuse the two. To help you clear this up once and for all, here are 7 ways to identify Mr. Wrong.

1. He talks badly about his family and friends all the time.

Investigation: Since he's busy talking about his family and friends, find out what they have to say about him. Wait, has he formally introduce you to any of his close relatives and friends? That's another problem in itself. But if he's always negative about  all the people that are suppose to be closest to him, he'll be negative about you. Make sure that you meet/talk to his family and friends, see what they're like. If he's serious about you, you'll meet them.

2. He talks badly about all his X-girlfriends, as if they were the problem.

Investigation: There's always two sides to a story. Don't take his word for it, talk to a few of his Xs, find out their struggles with him. Chances are, he might have the same struggles with you.

3. You've never seen him angry.

Investigation: Test him out during the dating stage. Find out what ticks him off and see how he reacts when you do it, multiple times. If he starts to curse, gets loud, appears violent/crazy, run to the hills. He is not the one. He should be calm, and still be able to maturely communicate with you, even when he's extremely upset. If he's acting like he has anger issues, red flag, he probably does!

4. His faith in God is questionable.

Investigation: If you want a true man of God that is, find out..does he have a church home, is he involved in church ministries, what does the pastor think about him, what does other church members think about him, does he own a bible, what kind of music does he listen to, what type of friends does he have(birds of a feather..), what are his hobbies, what type of places does he like to go to,..etc. If his faith is questionable, and he professes to be a man of God, red flag, he might just be lying to you, or is still in the baby stage. And you don't want a baby, you want a man.

5. He tries to control you.

Investigation: Does he try to tell you what to wear, does he want to follow you everywhere, he gets jealous easily, he doesn't want you to go certain places too often, you can't be yourself around him, does he choose the restaurants that y'all go to every time,  he's always right, he never asks  for your opinion, does he make you feel stupid, he thinks less about women, does he pressure you to do things, that you don't want to do, he doesn't want you talking to certain people, he gets angry when you 'disobey' him? Yep, he's a control freak. You don't need that in your life. Unless he's actually trying to help you be better, there is absolutely no reason a man should attempt to have you leashed like a dog.

6. He's irresponsible.

Investigation: Has he held a job for over 2 years, did he graduate from high school, did he attend a trade school/college/university, does he own a bank account, does he save, does he have goals and plans to achieve them, is he superficial, is he materialistic, does he act like the world revolves around his ego, does he like to clean, does he cook for himself, does he drive, does he have his own apartment/house? And don't take his word for it, you need evidence. If he acts like a bum, he's a bum. And last time I checked, bums live on the street, not in your life.

7. He's afraid of being tested for an STD.

Investigation: Ask him to get to get tested with you? If he's sleeping around with multiple women, he might be hesitant to get tested. But he needs to agree to do this, because you do not want to marry a man with an STD, and not know that.

Don't settle for less than you deserve. Investigate your future husband, don't take his word for it. Get to know exactly what type of man he is, and will be as a future husband and potential father. Some men do not change for the better after marriage, so don't marry Mr. Wrong hoping he becomes Mr. Right. This can go horribly wrong. I hope this helps.

Peace and Love,

          ♥

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

7 Reasons Why You're Still a Single Woman


You're looking around and seeing all the beautiful family portraits on social media, baby bump pictures, date night videos, and you're wishing and wondering why can't that be me? What's wrong with me? I am beautiful, well put together, I have a great personality, I am smart, I'm independent, all those good stuff, yet I'm still single. Yes I know, this feeling sucks. And since you're wondering why you're still single, I'm going to give you a list to choose from. All may not pertain to you, but I guarantee you that one will. Ready? Here we go!

1. Fearful
Your previous relationship(s) sucked, or the guy was not the person you expected him to be. Whether consciously or subconsciously, you are fearful of the same thing happening with someone new. This fear can keep you away from starting a new relationship. This fear can also drive someone away, because no one wants to be around someone with trust issues. And although you can't trust anyone, you can't make that brutally obvious.

Tip: Don't let fear hold you back. If you're going to give someone a chance, be fair to them, and put your fear aside. The absence of faith is fear, have faith.

2.  Picky
You know exactly what you want and it's super hard to find, right? Hate to be the one to break it to you, but you might just be too picky. He has to be tall, light/dark skin, muscular/slim, super smart, perfect skin, perfect smile, rich, own a home, and the list goes on. By being so mentally picky, you may overlook a guy that would be your ideal match. You're looking for guys that are darn near perfect, but you're not, no one is. Your expectations may not be logical. And although people will say what is meant to be will be, you actually control what is meant to be, by the choices that you make.

Tip: The only thing you should be picky about, is whether or not he is a true man of God. And I'm not talking about the guys that say they believe in God, yet don't own a bible, still goes to the clubs, don't have a church home, drinks more than a drunken sailor, and the list goes on. A man that truly believes in God, will fear him and would treat you the best way he can. And when he doesn't, his conscience will immediately bother him to make amends. That's the man you deserve.

3. Appearance
In case you haven't noticed, there are a lot of good looking females walking the streets, yet the ones you would consider yourself more attractive than, are usually the ones that are married. Do you want to know why? Although there are some guys that are into women that wear weaves, a ton of makeup, skimpy/skin tight clothing, and all that jazz, the guy that you need in your life won't necessarily be into all that stuff. So maybe your appearance is attracting the wrong type of guys(e.g. guys that just want to have sex, guys that just want you on their arms to boast their ego...etc).

On the other hand, maybe you are plain Jane, overweight, or somewhat lacking confidence. Sometimes this can cause you to attract guys that will take advantage of your vulnerability, or don't attract them at all. And you don't want neither. So how should you look?

Tip: Take care of your body. If you're a plain Jane, or overweight, dress up a little, eat right, exercise, style your hair, groom yourself, polish your nails, smell your best, feel your best, build your self confidence. Etc. If you're going to wear makeup, go for a natural look for everyday wear(glam it up for special occasions). Dress conservative for the most part, be the girl that a guy would be excited to take home to his parents, not the girl he would want to show off to his buddies, and then the buck stops there. Love yourself first, before trying to love someone else.

4. Desperate
Every guy you date won't be husband material, and by now you should know that. So when you're dating a guy, don't pressure him to be the one, when he's not. Don't pretend to be his wife, when you're not. You may not notice your own desperation, but guys know when you're desperate for a husband. The last thing they want is to be pressured into marrying you, because your biological clock is ticking. Another thing that makes you appear desperate is when you're trying too hard. You want to move in with the guy, you're doing his laundry, having sex with him, cooking for him, cleaning his apartment, to prove to him what a catch you are.

Tip: You don't need to prove to a guy what a catch you are, if you're a catch. Let things flow naturally. Don't give a guy too much of yourself, if he can't commit to spending the rest of his life with you. Date guys that you don't need to fix.

5. Personality
Look, don't hate me for saying this, but maybe your personality needs a tune up. You walk around with an angry face, if a guy gives you a compliment, you give him the grumpy look, you have a bad attitude, you're overly defensive, you have split personalities. Etc. I'm sure that you believe you're fun, down to earth, and maybe you are, but a guy can't see that if you're uptight, and even try to be professional on a date.

Tip: Be yourself. Be the woman you are around your best friends. If you are aware that your personality needs some work, you should work on that, because although I'm certain there's a guy that will love you for it, it just makes finding him that much difficult.

6. Issues
Yes, you might have some issues. I don't know what caused you to have the problems that you do, but you do. You have 4 children by 4 different men, you've been married over 3 times, you sleep around with multiple men,  you have low self esteem, you still communicate with your exes on a personal level, you're negative and unapproachable, your location sucks,  you're a quitter, unresolved issues in your past...etc. Girl you've got some issues!

Tip: A guy will love you regardless of your past. But you need to deal with your psychological issues and all others. If you need to speak with a therapist, do so, resolve your issues. Do not carry them into your relationship. Cast your burdens upon Jesus.

7. Independent
So you're Ms. Independent and don't need a man for anything else, but companionship, correct? Well keep that between us. Do not go around making this your main topic on your dates. How successful you are, how much money you make, you pay your own bills... bla, bla, bla. Guess who you will attract....bums, gold diggers(guys that want you to financially support them), or absolutely no one. While being an independent woman is good thing, to other independent women, it can be a bad thing to a man that wants you to depend on him, while he's able to depend on you. 

Tip: The man that you deserve wants to be your provider, even if you don't need him to. He will applaud your ambition and success, not for himself, but because he genuinely admires the strong, intelligent woman that you are. He won't try to keep you down, he will build you up. When you grow, he grows, vice versa. The man that you deserve won't need your money, because he has his own. Don't scare him away by acting like you don't need him. Because you will continue to be Ms. Independent.

Of course there are some women that are single by choice. But for the women that actually want a husband, children, and is having a tough time, I hope you find these tips useful. We can't fix others, but we can fix ourselves. Once that is done, you will truly know your worth, and won't settle. Wait for the man that you deserve, and you deserve the absolute best. If you desire to have children, and you don't see that happening, be a mentor to a child. Try not to stress or worry yourself about marriage, kids, relationships...etc. God has a plan for your life, so keep your mind on him. Who knows, maybe Mr. Right is right in front your face. Be patient, be focused,  be encouraged.

Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below, Why do you think you're single?

Wednesday, March 18, 2015

10 Ways to Build Your Self Confidence

I've not always been the most confident person in the world, but as I grew older I gained confidence in who I am. I know many women lack confidence, because we can often bombard ourselves with thoughts like, I'm not smart enough, not pretty enough, not successful enough,...etc. Today marks the day that you put a stop to these negative thoughts. Here are ten ways to build your self confidence:

1. Identify the things that you're good at.
Rather than focusing on the things you're not good at, focus on all the things that you are good at.

2. Don't compare yourself to other people.
You are unique, and there's no one in the world like you. Don't try to fit in, be yourself, stand out.

3. Keep positive people in your circle.
Keep honest, positive people in your circle. People that make you feel better about yourself and not worst. Avoid negative family members and friends as much as possible.

4. Get naked.
Look in the mirror and identify your best features. Is it your eyes, your butt, your lips? Whatever it is, smile about it every single time you look at yourself in the mirror. For things you can change, change it. And for things you can't change, accept it.

5. Bind the spirit of fear in the name of Jesus.
"For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind"(2 Timothy 1:7). Stop being fearful about what people may think about you. Your only concern should be about what God thinks. You are wonderfully made. And even if someone calls you ugly, know that they are speaking to themselves. Because it takes an ugly person, to intentionally put another person down.

6. Give compliments.
Instead of being jealous/envious, give someone that you admire a compliment. Their reaction to your compliment will in turn build your confidence. Try it you'll see. Sometimes, you might even get a compliment in return, gracefully accept it.

7. Don't be so hard on yourself.
Be patient with yourself. You can't do it all, that will drain you mentally and physically. Every struggle, disappointment, trial, there's a lesson to be learned. Identity the lesson learnt, and move on. Do not dwell on failures. "For every set back, God has a major comeback".

8. Encourage yourself.
So you cleaned your entire house, and it looks amazing. No one is there to tell you, "Good job!" That's okay, tell yourself that you did a good job. Pat yourself on the back.

9. Appreciate the things that you have.
You might not have a dog, like your neighbor, but you do have a super cool car, or a really pretty clutch. Be thankful. Be grateful for the things that do you have, and don't focus on the things that you don't have, or could have, or should have.

10. Take good care of yourself.
Eat right, exercise, sleep right, love on yourself, take daily showers, spend an extra 2 minutes on your appearance, groom yourself, get your hygiene right,..etc. If you take good care of your body inside and out, this will build your self confidence tremendously.

You are beautiful. You are smart. You are talented. Don't allow anyone to put you down. Acknowledge your worth, because you are worth so much more than anything this world can offer. I hope you are encouraged.



Peace and Love,

          ♥

Wednesday, March 11, 2015

Live Like You're Rich When You're Not Part 3

If you haven't read Part 1 and Part 2, ←click the links. Previously, we spoke about the main reasons why a person might be financially challenge and how to fix it. Now, we are going to discuss how to continuously make the most of your money.

Shopping

When shopping online or in stores, be sure to look for coupon codes, special offers, discounts. Etc. Shop around if you have to, find the best value. Why would you purchase something for $230, when you can get it for $70. Be smarter about your shopping, check out thrift stores, free trading websites, and so on. If you have excess money, spend it on your priorities, not on unnecessary overpriced items.

Restaurant Food

I like to eat out occasionally, but if you can't afford to, don't. You can waste a lot of money dining out. The smartest way to combat buying  food is to keep your pantry stocked. Not only stocked, but cook/prepare the things that you have. Stop buying lunch and coffee everyday. Walk with your own lunch, make your coffee at home. Instead of buying a sandwich, make one. Another tip is to have a lot of snack options. You can carry them on the go, to also avoid buying snacks between meals.

Savings
  • Find the best bank with the best interest rate. It's always good to do some research and be sure that you're putting your money where it will be safe and most profitable.
  • Another great idea, if possible, is to put your money in a compound interest CD(Certificate of Deposit). Doing so, you'll be able to earn the most interest, rather than less.
  • Save regularly. Don't slack off on your savings. This is the money you'll be able to achieve your goals with. No money, no accomplishments.
Credit Cards
  • If you do use credit cards, be sure to pay off the balance at the end of the month to avoid paying future interest.
  • Never pay the minimum amount. Always pay much more, if you can't completely pay off your balance.
  • Find cards with rewards, cash back offers, low interest...etc.
  • If you don't know how to use a credit card wisely, cut it up. There's no point owning a card, if it's just going to put you head over heels in debt.
Investments

Once you have a decent amount of money, you can begin to make investments. You can buy a home, renovate it, sell it at a profit, or rent it. You can also wisely invest small amounts of money in the stock market. But be very careful with this, because if you don't know what you're doing, you can lose your money.  The stock market is not just for rich people, and no it's not gambling either. Do your research and find out how, and which companies are the best to invest in. You can practice how to invest by clicking here. Here's another link with steps on how to invest small amounts of money wisely.

“When you have eaten and are satisfied, praise the Lord your God for the good land he has given you. Be careful that you do not forget the Lord your God, failing to observe his commands, his laws and his decrees that I am giving you this day. Otherwise, when you eat and are satisfied, when you build fine houses and settle down, and when your herds and flocks grow large and your silver and gold increase and all you have is multiplied, then your heart will become proud and you will forget the Lord your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.(Deuteronomy 8:10-14)” 

Never forget about God, because every good thing comes from him. The love of money is the root of all evil. However, God wants you to be prosperous, not for your own selfish reasons, but to enhance his kingdom by winning souls, helping the needy, spreading the word...etc. You can't do that effectively without money. True financial independence takes time. In the meanwhile, you can live like you're rich, when you're not, by being smarter with the money that you do have. Simple right? I hope this helps.

Did you find this series helpful? Of the three parts, which was the most beneficial to you? Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.

Peace and Love,

           ♥

Tuesday, March 10, 2015

Spoiler: The Bachelor Chris Soules Chooses Whitney

So before I start, I'll be all over the place. Please bare with me. Do not read this if you're not part of The Bachelor Nation, because you won't get it. Haha!

Chris chooses Whitney! Yay, best decision ever! So I knew without a doubt that Whitney was the one for him. She's smart, strong, sweet, and overall a great gal. I feel she compliments him. Is it just me, every time Chris speaks, my heart beat slows down a little. Like, I don't want him to stammer, or stutter. It's hard to watch someone struggle with words, as much as he did throughout the season. But Whitney articulates her emotions  and words very clearly, and I think she gets Chris. Like he'll be able to be his best self around her. and if he's having a hard time articulating his words, Whitney can help.

For instance, when they crashed the wedding, Chris was so nervous, and didn't know what to say. But Whitney was relaxed and she just flowed, and covered for him. I felt like Whitney and Kaitlyn should've been the final two. Because Becca was just too confused from the get go to be a final. Don't get me wrong, she's a sweet girl, virgin and all, but at the end of the day, he's looking for a wife and a family, someone that loves him, and she really was not ready. Clearly!

I truly believe Chris wanted Becca because she was playing hard to get. "For the chase." Because they seemed okay together, but she just was not into him, Iowa, making babies...etc. I believe it would've been the perfect scenario in his mind, virgin woman meets Chris, moves to Iowa, has 7 children, and lives happily ever after. But Becca was not down for that at all. I hope for her sake, she did not give him the 'goodies.'

He's a great guy, and I'm sure she liked him, but at the end of the day, The Bachelor is about finding love, not finding someone you can potentially love in the future. Look what happened to Juan Pablo's relationship. Becca's lost, Whitney's gain, because Chris is a great guy, very accomplished, sweet, genuine, and looks like he will protect, provide, and love a woman, the way a man should.

I like love stories. I love being in love, watching people find love, and be in love. And I believe every woman deserves to find a man that will love her like Christ love the church, and died for it. This is why I like watching The Bachelor, it's all about love. Read my love story. Click the link.

What are your thoughts about Chris's decision? Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.

Wednesday, March 4, 2015

"Don't Put Your Business on Facebook"

I was speaking to my Dad the other day and he said, "Facebook is the Devil." His concerns were about the number of dishonest people that are on Facebook for the wrong reasons. He made some valid points. Like the world, Facebook is filled with untrustworthy people. And this is exactly why privacy settings were created. You have the option to 'accept' or 'decline' Facebook friend requests, you can block particular people from viewing your photos, commenting on your page info, status,...etc. With that said, if someone shares information on Facebook, I'm almost certain the individual knows exactly who will see it, and know there's a possibility they might be sharing this information with the world ('public'). So when someone post their 'personal business' on Facebook, they either:
  • Had enough,
  • Want you to know,
  • Don't care whether or not the world knows,
  • Or is using Facebook as a medium to vent.
Now, if you happen to be scrolling down your newsfeed, and realize someone has shared what is not your typical Facebook status (e.g. positive, lovey-dovey stuff, inspirational. Etc), instead they shared how frustrated they, how depressed they are, something bad that has happened to them.....here's what you should and should not do.

You Should Not:
  • Publicly or privately reach out to the person, specifically to demand that they delete their post
  • Ignore the person's issues/concerns, and focus on generalizing how Facebook is filled with only nosey, dishonest, un-genuine people, that do not care.
  • Imply that the person is being unintelligent, unreligious, ..etc because of their actions

However, you should:
  • Offer encouragement and support if necessary,
  • Offer help if needed and able,
  • Ignore the status, if you don't agree with it, or do not have anything positive to add to it,
  • Delete the person as your friend, because clearly you do not care to know what's really on their minds,
  • Hide the person's info from showing up on your Facebook newsfeed, if you don't want to delete the person as a friend.
Facebook is a place where family and friends can keep in touch, where people can share their life's milestones, where people can connect with like-minded people, where new friends can be made, where people can inspire others, and  much more. Yes there are those that will use Facebook for the wrong reasons, and that's with everything. Facebook asks, "What's on your mind", and if someone decides to truly share what's really on their mind, they're entitled to do so. Let their conscience be their guide.

I believe it takes a lot of guts, bravery, and courage to inform the public about something that most people would keep to themselves out of shame, embarrassment, or whatever else. But that's just my opinion. Sometimes the truth of one person can inspire someone else. Sometimes when a person shares the truth, they can get the encouragement they need from others. I'm curious to know, what are your thoughts on this subject?

If one of your Facebook friends post that they were mistreated, how would you respond? Would you respond at all? Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.

Next week we will continue "Live Like You're Rich When You're Not" Part 3. If you haven't read part 1 and part 2,← click the links to do so.

Wednesday, February 25, 2015

Live Like You're Rich When You're Not Part 2


If you haven't read Part 1, ←click this link. In Part two, we are going to discuss how you can fix a poor mentality, and additional information on budgeting.

Fixing a Poor Mentality
Fixing a poor mentality is not an overnight thing, however it can be done.

Speak positive about your finances
Stop saying negative things like "I will never have enough money to...", instead say things like "I will clear my debts, I will save enough by 2016."

Focus on the things that you have
Rather than focusing on what you don't have, be grateful for the things you do have.

Stop stressing yourself about money
Constantly worrying about money will drive you bananas. Don't shorten your lifespan stressing out about money. Yes, money is a necessity, but it can't be what you meditate on day and night.

Do something about your finances
You can't just sit there and wait for money to drop in your lap. Do something. If you're working at a dead-end job, find a better job.

Genuinely give
Have you ever heard, "Give in order to receive"? Believe it or not, this too is a mental thing. Your focus in life, should never be selfishly driven, it should always be about your love for others.When you truly believe in your heart, that it's more important to give to others than to have for yourself, God will automatically bless you with so much more. Whether it's giving your 10% tithes, donating to charity, it's always better to give.
 

How to Budget
Let's say your income is $3000 a month. Go through all your expenses for the month:
 
Rent                                      $800
Grocery                                 $300
Gas                                        $120
Car Insurance                        $250
Cable/Internet/Telephone      $110
*Emergency Fund                  $200
Tithes & Offering                  $330
Daycare                                 $360
Total                                      $2470
 
*An Emergency fund is your current monthly salary multiplied by 6. If you don't already have one, make it your goal to have one. Life is full of unexpected occurrence. You must always be prepared.

Now that you have identified your most important expenses, you will then use your balance, which in this example is $530, to save or do anything else that you might need to do for the rest of the month.
 
Saving                                   $300
Hair                                       $80
Nails                                      $30
Anything else                        $120
Final Total                             $3000
 
Budgeting Tips
✓Stick to your budget every month. Track each dollar spent.
✓If you have excess(E.g. Only spent $80 for gas instead of $120), don't spend it, save it.
✓Don't spend on things that can't be budgeted(E.g. A $1000 flat screen will put you at a minus).
 
Once you fix your financial mindset, and start to budget, I guarantee you, in the long run, you will be able to have the things you want/need, without being head-over-heels in debt. In part 3, we will talk about using your money wisely, investing, money tips..etc. Stay tune!

I hope this helps. 
Do you track every dollar that you spend? Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.
 
 
 

Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Live Like You're Rich, When You're Not Part 1

Close your eyes and imagine, what would change in your life if you were rich? Would you send all your kids to the best private schools? Would you buy/build your dream house? Would you purchase a car in cash? Would you hire a personal trainer? Seriously, what would you do with money, if you were rich? In order to truly benefit from this post, you must read this 3 part series in it's entirety.

Now.... you're probably wondering, how in the world is it possible to live like you're rich, when in actuality you're broke or nowhere near 'rich'. I'm not here to tell you a get rich quick scheme. I'm not here to encourage getting yourself in debt for the latest designer pieces. What I am here to do is identify the reasons you're financially challenged, help you to fix it, and then help you get to a place where you can have the things you want, without having billions of dollars, or being thousands of dollars in debt for the rest of your life.

In part 1, we will identify the 2 reasons why you are financially challenged. Are you ready for the harsh truth? Here we go!

1. Having a Poor Mentality
Constantly  confessing that you're poor, broke, or don't have money  is a major part of having a poor mentality. In order to change anything in your life, you must first  change your mindset, the way you think, being able to be optimistic at all times...etc. Being poor is more of a mental thing, rather than lack of having actual cash.
 
You can have all the money in the world, but if you have a poor mentality, it will disappear in days, without you even knowing what you spent it on. The first way to fix a poor mentality, is to acknowledge the fact that you have one. Here are some things to identify whether or not you have a poor mentality, do you:
  • Constantly fixate on having more money,
  • Join pyramid schemes or do things that will supposedly get you rich quick,
  • Envy people with expensive things, because you can't afford it,
  • Spend money on things that you can't pay for, with the balance in your debit/savings account,
  • Focus on things you wish you had, rather than things you do have?

If one or more of these things are true about yourself, I'm sorry to break it to you, but your mentality needs some work. Don't worry, it can be fixed.
2. Lack of Budgeting
I can almost guarantee you, that most people that confess to be broke, poor, or financially challenged, do not budget. Budgeting is the  most important thing  you will ever do in your life financially. You should not spend money, unless it is budgeted. If you are not budgeting, you are not making the most of the cash that you do have, or will make in the future. This is why businesses have budgets, and so should you. A budget won't magically make more money appear, but overtime, the better you get at it,  you can have financial freedom and stability. However, lack of budgeting leads to:
  • Spending money unwisely and inefficiently,
  • Being unable to save money(E.g. Never saved more than $10,000 in your lifetime),
  • Having unattainable goals due to lack of money,
  • Not having an emergency fund(your current salary multiplied by six),
  • And constantly being negative about money(E.g. Saying things like, "I'll never be able to afford that.").

Now that we have identified the two reasons why you may be financially challenged, the next step is to fix it. In Part 2, I will discuss how you can fix it.

I was not always the smartest with money. I will admit,  that I had a poor mentality, and never budgeted. I made/spent so much money in my lifetime, and didn't have much to show for it. But overtime I improved, and being married  to an accountant definitely helped. So this series is to help those who were never taught how to be wiser about money.

Don't miss another post, subscribe to this blog(Top right under social media icons ). You will instantly receive all my new post once they're published.

Are you financially challenged? What are your thoughts on this subject? Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below. :)

Peace & Love,

          ♥

Wednesday, February 11, 2015

To The Love Of My Life



I thought about doing a 'Valentine's Day gift ideas' post, but I was like.... nah. Instead I decided to dedicate this post to the love of my life. I feel most relationships are very similar. Therefore the way I feel about the love of my life, you may be feeling pretty similar. Feel free to use this poem in a card, in a text,..to let them know how you feel about them. Every relationship has it's ups and downs, but we should always be grateful when the ups triumphs. Have a Happy Valentine's Day!

To The Love of My Life

"I'm sorry for not always expressing myself correctly,
And making it seem like I'm saying the same things repeatedly.
When I sit and think of what I truly want from you,
One thing comes to mind and it's absolutely all of you.
 
I love it when all your guards are down,
that's when I see the real you without any frowns.
I love the way you look at me,
Because when you do,
I feel your love for me entirely, as I should, boo. 
 
I love how you can easily make me smile,
Especially after telling me what might've been a complete lie.
I love how you make me feel so secure,
Especially when you say things like, "I'm not going anywhere, and that's for sure.".
 
I thought about what a great husband you've been to me,
And how everything you do, you've always included me.
I know that I don't say it as much as I feel it,
But I love you so much, I must admit.
 
I know that you always have my best interest at heart,
And that you would never do anything to tear it apart.
So today I will renew our vows,
I know doing so deserves a bow.
 
But I will love and cherish you even more,
Than I did a day or even a second before.
Your great heart surpass any flaws,
If my heart was ever frozen,
For you it's forever thawed. "
 Written By S. Jennings aka HeartMamaVI


Love can make us do/think so many crazy things, but there's no greater feeling than being loved by the ones you love. Let's celebrate the loves of our life in the comments below. Tell me.....
What do you love most about the love of your life?

Peace and Love,

           ♥



Wednesday, February 4, 2015

The Best Orgasm/Sex Every time


http://www.freeimages.com/photo/741032
Ladies, why have sex without having an orgasm every single time? Faking an orgasm is as wack as crack. Ultimately the best sex is equivalent to having the best orgasm, wouldn't you agree? Valentine's Day is right around the corner, and there will be a lot of love making going on. But what's love making if both parties do not equally climax. Sex should not just be a 'good feeling'. Sex done correctly should be an out of this world, super amazing experience, every single time. I'm talking about the kind of sex that leads to the best orgasm ever! That type of orgasm that can make you scream  uncontrollably, lose control of body, gives you the shakes, might even cramp you  up, and will definitely require a cuddle nap  after. It's that good! Here are 9 tips to achieving  the best orgasm every time:

1. Relax. An orgasm won't happen unless you're completely relaxed. Your mind needs to be in the present. Clearing your mind about work, how angry your friend made you, worrying about your report that's due...etc., having these things on your mind will lead to an orgasm-less sex experience. And according to statistics, there's a lot of that going around. So relax, think of nothing more than your partner and his body.

2. Deep kiss. No pecks allowed, but having extra fresh breath  is definitely a requirement. You can only imagine how wrong this can go if your breath smells like garlic bread, right? The key is to stimulate your partners tongue & lips with your tongue & lips, slowly and passionately. This oral stimulation also stimulates the rest of his body.

3.Lubrication. They invented lubrication for a reason you know, it's not only for those days that you want to skip the four play and head straight to the good stuff. Along with your natural secretion, additional lubrication intensifies the pleasure. Use the lubrication for the genitals, his hands, and/or your hands. ! Which leads me to...

4. Stimulation. No toy is necessary, when you have a man's hand/tongue that is readily available and is absolutely free. Make sure his hand is well lubricated though, because there is nothing worse than a dry hand rubbing a sensitive part of your body. Well actually there are worse things, but you know what I mean. Have him start of slowly. Much like a penis, the clitoris( ←click here to find more info on clitoris stimulation) can be erected. Once erected, based on your level of comfort, he can increase in speed/pressure without any discomfort.

5.The right position. There are lots of positions out there to explore, find the ones that work for you. Everyone's body is different, so what might feel good to me, won't necessarily feel good to you. Invest in a Kamasutra, or search online for hundreds of sex positions. 

6. Take Charge. Unlike men, climaxing for a woman is not as easy, but at the end of the day, we(women), control whether or not we have an orgasm.Your husband can't read your mind, therefore you have to let him know  what feels okay, extremely good, bad, or out of this world awesome. Never lie to him and fake an orgasm, your satisfaction is just as important as his. Once he learns your likes/dislikes, it will be like a recipe that he can always use, and after a while he won't need the exact measurements or the instructions.

The combination of these 6 things will get you the best orgasm every time. Sex isn't complicated, neither should it be a chore that you have to get out the way. If you're going to do it, do it right. And do it right every single time. I hope this helps.

What are your thoughts? Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.

Peace and Love.

          ♥





Wednesday, January 28, 2015

Don't Breastfeed Until You Read This

You've probably heard that breast milk is the best milk, right? And while this is true, there is so much more to it than it being the healthiest option. Although to most mothers that's all that matters, but to some others, there are many more factors to consider. Let's start with my breastfeeding background.

I breastfed my firstborn for one year and three months. Then I breastfed my second son for 11 months. I breastfed because:
  • I wanted to give my babies the best nutrition possible,
  • it was convenient for me, as a stay at home Mom,
  • I dislike washing dishes, so adding baby bottles...NO,
  • and formula is expensive.
I stopped breastfeeding my firstborn, because I felt he was old enough, he started exposing me in public when he got cranky, and I simply wanted to stop. On the other hand, I stopped breastfeeding my second son, because I was not producing enough milk.

Things You Should Know About Breastfeeding:
  • The first week is slightly painful, but it gets better.
  • It's easier to do, rather than making a bottle that has to be washed & sterilized after.
  • You might feel a little/ a lot awkward having a hungry baby savagely sucking your breast all the time.
  • You might feel hungry all the time. 
  • You might be one of the blessed few that breastfeeding causes to lose weight.
  • Your child might not get sick for the entire time while you're breastfeeding.(Immune systems varies)
  • Public feedings are tricky at first, but after a while you become a pro, or don't care much about nipple slips.
  • Pervs will watch intensely while you're nursing in hopes that they witness your world's most popular nipples.
  • Your milk supply decreases if you substitute a feeding for formula, without pumping( for several days).
  • Which leads me to, pumping out milk is annoying, but you have to do it to keep your milk production up, and to avoid engorgement.
  • Engorgement is painful, it feels like your breast is about to explode. Don't let it happen. 
  • The first 3 months, you will lose sleep. Also, the only thing your husband can do is wake you at 2 AM with a crying baby that needs to be fed. 
  • The big boobs don't last forever, once you stop breastfeeding, they disappear. (If your breast was small before the baby).
  • Breastfeeding takes away some(if not all) the firmest in your breast, but a good bra fixes that in a geefy.
  • While breastfeeding you might not want your breast involved in sexual activities, unless you're feeling super freaky.
  • Your child might bite your nipples. It hurts so bad, that you might even drop them(on the bed that is).
  • A lot of your friends/family members will see your breast sooner or later.
  • You will taste your breast milk and realize it's fresh like eggs, but pleasantly sweet.
  • You will feel super accomplished if you breastfeed for more than 1 week, imagine how you'll feel after one year.
  • Don't feel bad about not breastfeeding, if you tried your best, ignore the rest.
  • Don't allow people to determine when you should stop breastfeeding.
  • Don't allow people  to encourage you to give your baby formula, if you feel that you're producing enough, and your baby seems satisfied.
Overall, I had an excellent breastfeeding experience, and I would highly recommend that most women do it, for as long as they can.You will be overwhelmed at times, you won't feel like doing it at other times, but if you stick with it, eventually you will get the hang of it.

Sometimes life happens and you're unable to breastfeed your baby, don't beat yourself up about it. Breastfeeding is not for everyone. You can still bond with your baby while bottle feeding, and your child will still grow, and be healthy in Jesus name. I hope this helps in one way or another.

Now it's your turn to open up, just a little.
What are some of your breastfeeding concerns?

If you have breastfed, what was your experience like?

Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.

Peace and Love.




Wednesday, January 21, 2015

7 Reasons Your Goals are Unachievable | 5 Must Have 2015 Goals

Every year we make resolutions and don't exactly follow through with them entirely. But that's okay, we have another year to get our lives together. Resolutions are simply goals. And what would life be like if we did not have goals. Before we go into that, knowing the reasons why you failed in the past will help you to avoid failure in the future. Here are the seven reasons your goals are unachievable.
 
1. They are not realistic goals- If you don't have a realistic plan, you cannot succeed. Also having too many goals is just as unrealistic as not having one at all.
 
2. Laziness- Lack of energy or having no zeal to achieve your goals is a major road-block. Get that energy up! 
 
3. Negative mentally- Negative thoughts equals negative outcomes. Stop thinking negatively.
 
4. Fear- Whether it's fear of changes, people's reaction...etc, fear will always hinder your goals.
 
5. Occupying your time with the wrong things- Self entertainment can consume the time you could've spent working towards achieving your goals. Instead of spending 6 hours watching reality TV, read a self-help book, exercise, have a family devotion. Etc. Don't get me wrong a little entertainment is okay, but too much of anything is bad.
 
6. Lack of encouragement- Not having a support system can discourage you, but sometimes you have to encourage yourself when people fail you.
 
7. Inconsistency-  If you decide to do something everyday, it doesn't matter how you feel, just do it. Stop procrastination in it's track.
 
 Now that we know what led to our past failures, here are five must have goals for 2015.
 
Goal #1. Listen to your conscience. Have you ever heard someone say, "Something told me don't do it, yet I did and now.." something bad happened. This something is no something, it is the voice of the holy spirit within you. If you ever wondered how God speaks to us, this is how. Through our conscience. In order to hear our conscience correctly, our conscience must be clear, and we must have a relationship with God. This is by far the most important goal in life.
 
Goal #2. Set realistic short term and long term goals.  For instance, if you want to lose weight, give yourself a year rather than 4 weeks. If you want to own a house, evaluate your current income, and go from there. Sometimes we set goals that are unrealistic and get discouraged when we don't achieve them. Don't do that.
 
Goal #3. Be healthy. Yes if you follow me on social media, you know I'm a foodie. But I eat all things in moderation. I also love to share. And that works for me. However, if you know that a slice a cake will make you gain weight in a week, don't do it. Be healthy. The key way to being healthy is to eat healthy. Along with eating healthy exercising has lots of health benefits. 30 minutes a day is all you need, however if you are trying to lose an excessive amount of weight you can do more. But at least take 30 minutes in your day to exercise. A little walk won't hurt much.
 
Goal #4. Always be positive and surround yourself with like-minded people. How can you be positive if you have negative people in your ears all the time, speaking discouragement into your life? Get rid of them. It doesn't matter how it looks, always look at the positive in everything, and surround yourself with positive people. "Birds of a feather flock together", right?
 
Goal #5. Fearlessly get yourself out there. The absence of faith is fear, so take a leap of faith and bind your fears in Jesus name. Invest in yourself, join a group, go to networking events, get to know people and let people get to know you... Etc. Opportunities won't come knocking if no one knows that you exist.
 
These are my goals for 2015 and beyond. Let these be your goals as well, and let's see how far it takes us.
 
What is one of your short/long term goal and how do you plan to achieve it?
 
Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.
 
Peace and Love.
 
 

Thursday, January 15, 2015

Simple Apple Pie Recipe



You will need:
Store bought 9" pie crust (Pillsbury brand is great, I tried Shurfine not so much)
3 Granny Smith Apple(cored, peeled, & sliced)
4Tablespoon unsalted butter
1/2 cup of brown/white sugar
1.5 tablespoon flour or more
2TBSP water or more
Nutmeg & Cinnamon
1.Thaw out your frozen pie crust for 10-20 minutes, as directed.

The sauce Mixture

2.Melt the butter in a small pan on low heat.
3.Once the butter has melted to a light yellow color, add the flour to form a paste like consistency. 4.Then add the water so that it's not too thick(but not too watery either).
 *If you accidentally made it too watery just add some more flour, vice versa.*
5. Add the sugar. I don't like it to be too sweet, but you can add a little more sugar if you like.
6. Simmer the mixture for 3/4 minutes, stirring occasionally. If done right, the sauce will caramelize and look like caramel.

The Pie Magic

7. Once your sauce is done, prick some holes to the bottom of the crust.
8. Add your sliced apples to the panned pie crust, then sprinkle with nutmeg and cinnamon.


9. Pour your sauce mixture evenly over the apples.
10. Then bake for 10 minutes at 400 degrees Fahrenheit. Then lower heat to 350 and bake for 35-40 minutes or until crust is golden brown, but not burnt.
*I tossed a nectarine in there, just to try it out. It was bitter, but if you want some acidity you can add one to your pie.

 
Enjoy with a nice scoop of Vanilla  Ice Cream. So delicious!

 

Wednesday, January 14, 2015

I Don't Know My Husband



We've been together for almost 6 years, and I thought I knew him like I did the back of my hands. Then again I don't really know the back of my hands, because I hardly pay attention to it.  But you know what I mean. Anyways my sweet husband and I were sitting down in the living room, watching something that was so irrelevant, that I can't even remember the name of it. I have no idea what we were talking about, and maybe this is why he comes up with what I'm about to tell you. He looks at me and he says, "You don't know me." 

"Say what! Come again," was my initial response. Did I really just hear my hubby-bubbly say that I don't know him. I looked him in the face and although he was smiling and shaking his head, like "I can't believe this," he said it again like he really meant. Like it was something that was on his chest that needed to get out.

At first I tried to laugh it off, but it then felt like a dagger to my heart. Here I was thinking that I was doing all I needed for my boo, only to receive an internal(not literal) slap in the face. Then he goes on to say...wait for it... " Why don't you blog about that."

Oh no he didn't. Gurl he sure did. So here I am blogging about it. He listed his reasons and it had me thinking,"Mehn, maybe he is right." So before some of you make the same mistakes that I did, I'm sharing this so that you won't, or continue to make these mistakes. Here are some ways to get to know your husband.

When you ask "How was your day", mean it. I usually ask him everyday how was his day, and he says the same thing everyday. "It was okay." And we move on to another topic. Apparently I don't mean it, hence the reason I asked it in the first place. Right? So what is a woman suppose to do, interrogate him? He said his day was okay right?
Apparently he felt that I could have gone more in depth and ask more questions about his day like I actually cared.  He believes that I'm asking like a robot, repetitious, routine, just to say I asked. And when I think about it, maybe he's right, just a little bit. Shame on me! But hey, at least I asked right. Don't make this same mistake, ask specific questions, and even if you get a one word response, ask another.

Remember his favorite things. So he decides to prove how much I don't know him. He asked, "What is my favorite color?" "Take the wheel Jesus",  how am I suppose to remember that? He almost never wears the color, let alone owns anything that's the color. Anyways y'all better know your hubby's favorite things, especially his favorite color, because that was embarrassing for me. Even if you think you know it ask again, who knows it might have changed over the years.

Ask him about current things he's working on.  For instance, if he's reading a book, genuinely ask him about it. If he's working out, ask how many pounds has he lost. If he travels a lot, ask about his experience and some of the interesting things he saw. If you can care less, no point in asking right. But do it because you care for him. You might get 'short and sweet' responses, but keep asking. He can't say you've never made the effort, right? Make it your business to find out what's going on with him.

Make conversations more about him sometimes.  Is it my fault he didn't  have much to say when I asked him a question, rather than a 'short and sweet' response all the time, give a lengthy one. Anywho I just felt that if you don't care to talk about yourself to me, I'll talk about what's going on with me. Is that bad? Well ladies hate to break it to you, but apparently saying in depth how your day was, since your hub did not want to return the favor is bad. Apparently you come across as a self centered queen, that the world revolves around. Boy that was mean. You have been warned. Make a few conversations about him, and zip it about yourself just for a few.

Well, that's all I got for now. If I happen to learn any more tips, I'll let you in on it. I appreciate my husband's honesty. Sometimes it's a bit on the blunt side and may sting a bit, but nevertheless he's speaking his mind. And what can I say, I love him for it.

This post was written to be slightly humorous with some sarcasm. But on a serious note, we can get so complacent in our lives, that we forget to continue getting to know our husbands(I know I did), like we did when we first met them. Don't make the same mistake I did.

I know there might be some women that truly don't know their husbands. You feel you're growing apart from them. Before walking away from the marriage, go to counseling, go on more dates, get to know each other again, try to make it work. Every marriage has it ups and downs, but we do what it takes in the name of love, and to keep our covenant.

Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below. "In two words describe your husband,  boyfriend, or dream husband (positively)."  Then share your thoughts on this subject. 

Peace and Love.

Wednesday, January 7, 2015

Feeling Alone In Your Struggles

"You don't have to think that you are all alone in your situation. Psalm 27:10 states, "Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me." Even if your family have written you off, because they aren't pleased with your actions, or you don't feel like there's no one on your side, just know that God is always there for you. Seek him in your time of need, he will be there for you. He's got your back all the time.
 
Being a single parent, I once thought, 'I can't do this' or 'This is hard', but one day while I was listening to this preacher, he stated that whatever you are going through you are not alone. Like in Isaiah 41:10 "so do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
 
I began seeking the word of God and now I am confident and at ease that God is with me through my single parenthood. And I knew that my struggle will not be forever. My daughter is now four years old, acting like a teenager. She even does her homework by herself sometimes without my assistance. Single parenthood is becoming easier for me.

Whatever you are going through whether it is trying to finish college, going through a breakup, and going through family separated from you, it isn't easy. Knowing that God is with you and you are not alone, it will get easier and it will be over soon. A saying that I live by that keeps me motivated is, "This too shall pass". Nothing lasts forever, therefore whatever you are going through, it will come to an end." 
                                                                                                  
                                                                                                  Written by S. Charles a.k.a. Single Mom

This is a post written by my sister to encourage and inspire women, especially single mothers like herself that you are not alone. If you have a story/testimony that you feel would inspire other women, I would be glad to share it on my page.

Have you ever felt alone in your struggle? I hope this was a message in due season. Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.