Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Fake People Don't Exist

Here I was scrolling through social media every week, and every week I guarantee you someone's status has something to do with 'fake friends' or 'fake people'. It made me wonder, who were they talking to, the people that they accepted their friend request, or the ones that they intentionally made their information public to. Either way I felt like this needed to be addressed. I might even be called fake for saying so, but hey, that's just the way the world works.

Don't get me wrong, I use to be a firm believer in the existence of 'fake people', until one day the light bulb went on. Fake people don't exist, unless the person appears to be human, but has some sort of alien or none-human DNA, then yea, they're fake. But on a serious note, it's not just the literal aspect that I don't agree with, it's the concept on a whole. I did some digging and underlined some of the top characteristics that a 'fake person' has. I will then tell you the truth, and the why it doesn't make them fake at all. It's lengthy, but bare with me to truly understand.

Compliments too much or doesn't compliment at all.
Let's say you don't feel fabulous at all, and a stranger or someone you don't care much for, gives you a compliment. Oh boy, they're being fake, right?

Here's another example. You're wearing a new outfit. You look at yourself in the mirror, and you say "Girl, you look fabulous." You exit your house and no one, I mean no one, that you know gives you a compliment. So are they your real peeps, haters, or what? Because you would think if they were your 'real friends', they could at least give a sister a compliment, right?
 
The Truth: Just because someone gives you too many compliments, it doesn't make them fake at all. Maybe they really do like whatever it is they complimented, or they just want to make you feel good. If they're lying to you, then that's between them and God. Someone says something nice to you, say thank you. Stop worrying about whether it's genuine or not.
Also, just because your 'real people' don't give you a compliment, it does not mean they are fake. Everyone has their own things going on. The last thing that might be on someone's mind is the outfit you're wearing. Like really, the world does not revolve around you. Selfish much?
Yes, that was a little harsh, but it's the truth.

Pretends their life is peachy
This person is always smiling, happy, and appears to have their life together. They post pictures of how happy they are, how in love they are, and their life is peachy. And that makes you upset. Why? Because your life is in the pits, so they have to be fake, right?

The Truth: First of, what is it to you? Like why do you care so much? It's their life. Whether or not they are pretending, that does not make them fake. It makes them human pretenders. No one wants people to see them hurting, depressed, poor, down and out, struggling...etc. Like really? No one wants to glorify how suck their life is. Who does that, do you?

Talk behind people's backs
This person appears to be cool with you, they might even be your 'loyal friend'. But behind your back they talk about what an idiot you are. They even tell multiple people about what an idiot you are, except you. Then you hear it through a grapevine, and you're pissed. He/she is fake right?

The Truth: Don't pretend for one second that you have never in your entire life spoken badly about someone behind their backs. I know I have. Is it good? Nope. But are you fake for doing it? Nope. It's called being a human being. Of course you should be honest and tell someone in front their faces that they are being a complete idiot. But we don't always do that, now do we. Tell you why? Because we either care about that person's feelings, or we're afraid of their reaction. 

Yes there are some backstabbing, disloyal, dishonest, gossiping people. That's what they are, they're not fake at all. They're just real disloyal, dishonest, gossiping people. Yep, those kinds of people do exist.

Has the ability to make you feel like crap
This person tells you the truth or a lie to intentionally make you feel like crap.

The Truth: They are not fake, they are simply being jerks. Everyone has the ability to make you feel like crap, if they try hard enough. My husband is a jerk sometimes and I return the favor. Lol! Does that make us fake? Nope. It makes us human.

Appears to be someone they're not.
This person appears to be a sweetheart, but is truly evil underneath. Or vice versa

The Truth: Pretending to be sweet, when you're sour does not make you fake at all. No one wants to appear to be a bad person. People want to be likable. If someone is pretending to be sweet, when you know (like God does) that they are actually sour, then just maybe, they are trying to be better. Because a true sour person won't even attempt to be sweet. And who knows, they might be going through something. People are the way they are for a reason, it does not mean they are fake.

Isn't there when you need them.
This person you are always there for, and the moment you need them, they are gone with the wind.

The Truth: Of course there are some cases where some people always need you for something, and when you need them, they are non-existent. Those people aren't fake at all, they are called users. Users take, take, take, and the moment you open your hands to receive from them, they disappear.

There's also cases where you're not really there for them at all. And just maybe they can read you like a book. Or just maybe you are too needy. Or just maybe you do things to get things in return.
So they're fake, because they won't give in to all your needs, right? How often have you given into their needs? And if you did, why are you taking notes? You get my point right.

Does not  reach out to you.
You're always the one reaching out to this person, and they never try to reach out to you. This person is only there for you when it's convenient to them. This person even ignores your calls/texts.

The Truth: So why are you still trying to reach out to them? Clearly they are not interested in maintaining a relationship with you, right? Maybe. Or they might just be busy, overwhelmed, or just don't feel like talking or responding to you. They could careless about how you feel about it. Just because someone doesn't take one minute out of their entire day to send you a text or call you, it doesn't mean they don't care about you. They're just doing their own thing, and you need to do the same.

If you truly want to reach out to this person, do so. But don't do so with the hopes that they will automatically start reaching out to you. Expect the best, prepare for the worst. That's just how life works.

Are invited to your events, but you are never invited to theirs.
This person you try to include them in your life. You invite them to your functions, but they never invite you to theirs.

The Truth: If they did have a function that you knew about, then I can see why you're into your feelings. But it doesn't make them fake. Maybe they felt you probably wouldn't want to come(assumptions are bad). Or maybe they just did not want you there. Or maybe they just did not want to bother you. Who knows. If you really want to know why you weren't invited, ask the person.

Also, not everyone is as social as you are. Yes they might come to your events, if you invite them. But that does not mean they have events. If they're like me, they probably don't have events. Maybe they have a husband that's not into those kinda stuff(speaking about myself here). So don't get your panty/brief tied up in a bunch about it. Just ask the person.

Tries to please everyone.
This person is a social butterfly. They get along with everyone and can relate to anything. I mean they did it all, and know it all. He/she is a people pleaser and a very good one.

The Truth: You and I both know that you can't please everyone. So as much as this person appears to be pleasing everyone. They're not. But why are you so bothered about them being an entertainer? Yes, that's not your cup of tea. But to each it's own.  Maybe this person genuinely gets along with anyone, and have a lot of experience with things. So! That's them. What is it to you? They're not being fake, they're being them. Whether or not they are pretending, that's not your concern. That's theirs. Let their conscience bother them, not yours.

Tells a lot of lies.
This person is always lying. Like every word out of their mouth is literally unbelievable.

The Truth: This person is not fake. This person is a pathological liar. Enough said.

Before you attempt to throw stones and call people 'fake' evaluate yourself. Because chances are you have done, or are doing all the things you consider 'fake people' to be doing. It does not make you fake at all. It makes you a person. And people will be people.

We will sin, we will do/say bad things, and that's not being fake at all, that's being a spiritual being in a fleshly body. The struggle to do the right thing is real. So when people don't always do the right thing or do the things that we expect them to do,  it doesn't make them fake. It makes them human, and it makes you selfish and/or unrealistic. Because who are you to call someone 'fake', when you do the same exact things that they do. I'm just saying.

I know that I am coming across a little harsh, but this is me speaking from my heart. I'm speaking to myself too. This is tough love, but it's the truth.

If someone has wronged you, that's life. Forgive them and move on. Because chances are this will happen several more times in your lifetime.

If you have wronged someone, acknowledge it, apologize, repent, and try your outmost best to not repeat. Let your conscience be your guide.

This New Year recognize people for who they are and don't label them as 'fake'. That's just life, and people will be people. We still shower them with love, and try to  be a better person. Be safe and have a blessed New Year!

Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below. What are your thoughts?


Peace and Love.

14 comments:

  1. Finally someone gets it! I was just thinking about this the other day. People will be people. You just learn them, and choose whether or not you want certain kinds of people in your circle.

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    1. Exactly Tarah! Don't have unrealistic expectations of people, because people will be people. It will save you from the pain and hurt.
      Thanks for stopping by and taking the time to comment. You're awesome! :)

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  2. Well said. I have gotten called fake many times before (No shade to those who have called me fake, but you know who you are. lol!) Some people genuinely have good/God intentions.

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    1. Agreed! Just because someone is different from how you expect them to be...it doesn't make them fake, that's just who they are. And in your case clearly the person that called you 'fake' had unrealistic expectations of who you should be and how you should act. Rude! Lol but that's people for you. That's for the support Tia! You're awesome!:)

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  3. You just changed my mind about fake people, they are just bad people sometimes the signs are there but choose to ignore

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    1. Lol! Then that would mean everyone on planet earth is bad, unless you're as perfect as Christ himself. Some people do/say bad things, but I wouldn't classify them entirely as a bad person, if you get where I'm coming from. Thanks for stopping by! You're awesome 2!;)

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  4. This was an on time post. This applies to married folk as well. Sometimes we place unrealistic expectations on our spouses and label them as bad husbands or wives because they honestly can't live up to our expectations. For better or worse seems to no longer exist in modern marriages.

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    1. I agree to some extent. Unrealistic expectations usually leads to disappointments. But there are some slim cases where the wives/husbands are bad, I'm talking from the Devil, and only a miracle from God can save them. But I'm sure you're not referring to those kinds. Although it seems like modern marriages aren't taken seriously, I believe there are still some 'for better or worse' that still exist. Check out one of my past post, you might like it. Thanks for taking time to read and actually comment. You're fabulous(switched it up on ya lol).

      http://www.heartmamavi.com/2014/10/things-to-know-beforeafter-getting.html

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  5. This blog is one of the most realest blog I ever read...girl u "hit the nail on the head" with this one....all points u made was on point n I'm not being fake lol...I really mean it....love it!!! I agree...there is nothing more I can say!!

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    1. Lol @ not being fake. Thanks chica ...glad you liked it. Now you're over on my side. Hehe thanks for stopping by n commenting. You know you're fabulous! :)

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  6. When I saw the title I was instantly thinking yea right! Fake people are all around me. But after reading this I felt like a darn hypocrite. :( so this was ouch for me. But just what I needed. Calling people fake and I'm no better than them. We're just people. Forgive each other for real. Thanks for sharing this. Just what I needed right now. I need to just stop worrying about people. Smh!

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    1. Hi Lia

      You're welcome and I'm glad you found this information useful. When this light bulb came on, it was an ouch for me as well. So I know the feeling. Thanks for stopping by and taking the time out to comment. Havea blessed day.

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  7. OMGoodness! Yes girrrrrl!!! That is some truth for ya!!!.....and for me too! Lol. We all judge and criticize each other as if we are flawless....uh, no boo boo! The same way my constant smile irks you, your sour face is irking someone else. The truth is we are all different and deal with things differently. So just because someone isn't acting just like you doesn't make them fake, it just makes them them, and that's real. Oh, and don't waste time worrying about other people (I did this for quite a while). Guess what? They not worried bout you! So give it all to God, only He can change the heart of a man/woman. Absolutely LOVE this blog!!! It made me look at myself also, so....yes...ouch, ouch, and ouch! Lol!

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    1. Exactly Tamika! You read me just right! Everybody can't walk around acting how we want them to. That's just life. AND YES..worrying about people gets you nowhere, because like Pastor always say no one has a heaven or hell to put you in. So don't waste time worrying about them. Stress-free is the way to be! Sorry for the ouch-es, but pain comes in a hurt, but healing follows. Lol whoa that was deep! Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. Enjoy the rest of your blessed day. :)

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