Almost every woman dreams of having their own child/children someday. I remembered wanting ten children. However, as time passed, that number has drastically dwindled down. They say that having children will change your life. They talked about how precious they are, and how you would just want to kiss their toes and cheeks forever. And while these things are true, there are so much more to children, than just being the little precious gems that they are. So let me fill you in, incase you don't already know. Here are the top seven changes after having children.
You and I can both agree that your body will definitely change after having a child. A woman carries a baby for nine months, gains weight every week, eats for two everyday, and every part of her body stretches to accommodate the adorable growing baby inside her. After she gives birth, her body takes quite sometime to go back to it's previous state. But most times, it doesn't always. Celebrities do not always give the realistic image, of what your body may look like after pregnancy. Some women get darker, while others get lighter. Some women gain more weight, while others lose weight. You might end up with bigger boobs, you might end up with smaller boobs. You might end up with stretch marks, a muffin top, belly wrinkles, wider/smaller hips, and the list goes on. The bottom-line is, some of the body changes are great, but others may take some getting use to. But whatever the changes are good/bad, they are a reminder of what our bodies endured to give birth to our precious blessings from above.
Tip: Get in shape before getting pregnant. After having the baby, maintain a weekly exercise routine.
Do you remember going to a store and being able to buy whatever you want, without any guilt at the back of your mind? Well guess what, after having children, money becomes a big deal. You may have less of it, so you don't want to spend too much of it. All of a sudden you find yourself budgeting, couponing, frugal shopping, driving less, and doing any and everything to help you save money. Which is a good thing. Children are expensive, but affordable. The smarter you are with money, the better.
Tip: Before having children, make sure that you are financially ready. Always have a budget, and try your best to be debt free.
When you were younger, staying up late was fun. But after having children, sleep will be a friend that you don't see quite often, even if you wanted to. Whether it's waking up at wee hours of the night to check on the kids, or waking up to a crying baby at 5AM everyday, or just getting things done while they're sleeping. Lack of sleep will seem to be inevitable.
Tip: Develop a bedtime routine for the child/children and stick to it. If you have a baby, take naps while they're sleeping. And if you have a baby and another child/children, have patience. They will grow up sooner than later, and then you can develop a bedtime routine.
Before having children, you will have all the time in the world. You can freely do whatever you like, anytime you like. However, after children, you will have many moments when your only excuse for not doing something is, "I don't have time ". After becoming a mother it seems like the only thing you have time for are your children. You won't be interesting in staying out late, because the kids have a bedtime routine. You won't be interested in staying out all day, because the kids act grumpy, when they haven't taken their naps. Time, time, time! You will want more of it, but each day seems to go by faster than the previous one.
Tip: Plan out your days by the hour. Having a schedule and sticking to it will help you get more done. Yes, children can be unpredictable. But trust me, attempting to stick to your schedule everyday, even if you have to tweak it throughout the day, helps a lot.
Do you remember when you hated washing dishes, or doing chores around the house? Well after having children, you better learn to love it. You will suddenly find an energy level within yourself, that your parents didn't know existed. From washing laundry, doing dishes, cleaning, cooking, feeding, bathing...etc, you will be able to do it all with your eyes close. Well maybe not with your eyes close, because you might fall asleep on yourself. I am not saying you won't get tired, because you will. But even when you are, that energy will help you push through. Because at the end of the day, A Mama's gotta do, what a Mama's gotta do. If you don't take care of your children, who will?
Tip: On days when you're feeling tired, get that loving husband, baby daddy, trusted friend, or trusted family member of yours to help out. You're not a machine. Everyone needs a break sometimes, even Mamas.
Your Sex Drive
So before having children, you and your hubby/lover were like wild bunnies, having sex whenever you found time. At that point in your life, you all had lots of time. Hence the reason you got pregnant, right? After having children, well between your lack of sleep, to your hormonal shifts, to your energy invested in doing all things pertaining to the kids/house, the last thing on your mind is sex. The kids seem to be always awake and always around. So when can you sneak some love-making in? When they finally go to bed, at which point you're tired, and ready for bed also? Maybe, maybe not. Clearly, your sex drive decreases after kids.
Tip: Just because you don't care to have sex, it doesn't mean you shouldn't. Sex is like Pringles, "once you pop, the fun don't stop". So even if you're feeling tired, once you start you will instantly get that energy boost you need to continue. Also don't wait too late to get your freak on. The earlier you do it, the more energy you'll have, the better. Besides, having sex will help you and not hurt you. A healthy sex life, equals a healthier you, and an even happier husband.
Children can sometimes hinder your goals, but in time you can still achieve them. Whether it's not finishing school, having the career you wanted, owning your own house,...etc., it's never too late. After having children, your main goal will be to comfort, provide, and protect them. You will find yourself doing every and anything with their best interest in mind. You will want to leave behind something, whether it's your beliefs, values, or assets. Life somewhat has more purpose after having children.
Tip: Try to achieve as much of your goals before having kids. If you already have kids, no worries. You can still achieve those goals. They will grow up and/or go to school, at which time you can reach for the stars.
Having children can be awesome. But if you don't have them, it's not the end of the world. I know there are many women and couples that wish to have a child. I remember my struggles with trying to have my second son. For whatever reason you can't, don't allow it to make you bitter, sad, or depressed. In the meantime, enjoy your life without the added responsibility. Be grateful for the things you do have, and never lose faith. God will work it out.
For those with children, they change our lives in so many ways, but ultimately they help us to be better individuals(more mature and more responsible). In most cases, we live a more meaningful and happier life because of them.
These seven things will only be for a time. Children are like weeds, they grow rather quickly. Be patient. In the future, you will have more time, energy, sex, sleep,...etc. You will even appreciate your body more as time goes by. So whether you have kids, don't have kids, or plan to have kids in the future, I hope you found this post helpful in someway.
Now it's your turn to share something with me, anything. And in case you have no idea, here are some questions you can answer in the comments below. Let's have a heart to heart.
What changed the most after having your child/children?
If you don't have children, or want to in the future, which change(s) do you fear the most?
If you agree with the top seven changes, simply drop an "amen" below.
Peace and Love.