Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Sleeping with a Married Man


                                           


Recently, I was watching Dr.Phil. On the show, he had a group of mistresses, women having affairs with married men, saying why they did it. They all said the same things. In their minds, it's okay to sleep with a man who says, he's  separated, or is in a bad marriage. But here's the thing, it's not okay. After watching this show, I just had to add my two pennies. I know there will always be women with issues in this area. So I wrote this for you. All others can read and also add your two pennies. Here we go. 

For the women with an interest, or those sleeping with a married man, before you decide to do it or continue doing it, here are some reasons why you should not.
 
1. He's married. If this reason isn't the most obvious, look at his left hand, preferably the finger with the wedding band on it. He's walking around with a ring on it, and you find him irresistible? Resist! He's taken, off limits, and  not yours. Don't try to steal a man that doesn't belong to you. Find your own. There are lots of single men out there. Find yourself a good one.
 
2. He might cheat on you too. If he cheated on his wife to be with you, what makes you think he will not cheat on you? Many times when men cheat, they're only doing it for the thrill. So if you consider yourself a worthless pawn, to be played by a man seeking entertainment, by all means, knock yourself out. But if you know your value, walk away.
 
3. He does not deserve better. So he tells you that his wife is unattractive after having his children, he says she does not satisfy him, he says she treats him bad, and you believe it's your place to be the better woman that he deserves, right? Well you're not! What he needs to do is stop being a coward, and instead of cheating on his wife, tell her the truth and/or leave her. Rather than complain/lie to you only to get into your underwear. Don't be fooled, his wife isn't the only one being played, you are too. While he has fabricated his awful marriage, that is actually quite peachy, you're feeling sorry for him. Well don't! He just happens to be a happily married, dishonest, unfaithful prick. That's all. Is that the type of man, you see in your distant future? I would hope not. 
 
4. He's not friend material. Here's a classic scenario. You have a hard-working, married man. He appears to be so innocent. He makes it clear that he's only looking for friendship. He seems nice, clean, respectful, honest, and y'all have good conversations. You might flirt with him, and he flirts back, vice versa. Huge mistake! This is an affair seed being planted, whether by you or by him. 

Why are you even entertaining a married man that's flirting with you? Do you not find that a tad bit inappropriate? What kind of woman does he think you are?  It's not because you're hot and he couldn't resist, it's because he has no respect for the vows that he took, or the relationship that he's in. He definitely does not respect you, if he thinks that you're gullible enough to fall for his deception. 

Do you want a friend with benefits? News flash: A married man that sleeps next to his wife every night, while their children are in a nearby bedroom, is not the one.  He belongs to someone else. While you're pursuing him, he probably just slept with his wife the night before. Really? You're okay to sleep with a man that's still intimate with his wife? Because it doesn't matter what he tells you, if he lied to his wife, he will lie to you too.
 
5. It's all flattery. If he wanted to leave his wife, he would've done it a long time ago. And if he says he's staying for the kids, that makes it worse. He is cheating on their mother with another woman, to do what, make them happy? Do you see the point I'm trying to make? He's just flattering you, and you're falling for it. He just wants an affair, something to do, so that he isn't "bored."
 
6. You are pretty. If you feel better about yourself, because a man describes you as being more attractive than his wife, then clearly you have some internal issues. You don't need anyone's validation that you're beautiful. You don't need someone to compare you to anyone else, to feel pretty. While he's fluffing you up and you're feeling better, he's busy hurting another woman by cheating on her. And he's the perfect guy for you, right? Wrong.
 
Ask yourself, "What do I want in life?" I know you might be feeling lonely, and maybe a married man, is the only one that is showing you some interest. But you don't need to be the cause of someone else's unhappiness. Don't say it's the married man's fault because he approached you. You accepted him into your life, therefore you are also at fault. You do not need to be the mediator in a marriage/relationship. You don't deserve to be called a mistress, a side-chick, a home wrecker, because that's not who you are. At least I hope not. You are better than that.
 
Any man that is willing to cheat on another woman, just like you, doesn't deserve you. So when a married man seems interested in you, disappear! Reappear in an area filled with lots of single men, with no commitments. Save yourself from what will be a complete waste of time. Because in the end, it will only cause you more heartache and loneliness.

Did you find this information helpful? How has a married man approached you? How did you, or would you handle the situation? Let's have a heart to heart, in the comments below.
 
Peace and Love,
 
HeartMamaVI

Sunday, October 26, 2014

3 Truths About People

                                            
People are all around us. We can't live with them sometimes, but we can't live without them. And as much as we try to tell ourselves that we don't need people, we do. Our families, our kids, our lovers, our parents, our siblings, our friends, our coworkers, etc., what would our lives be like without them? Now I'm not saying that you can't be a loner, because you can. But at the end of the day, you still have to interact with people. What's life,  if you can't even get along with your own kind? And if you're religious, you should know, that the greatest commandment is to love people. Now that I've finished rambling, here's the truth:

1. People will be a disappointment.  And if you haven't witnessed this for yourself, good for you! But for the rest of us, we know people will say and do things that will hurt us. And if you think about it, why do we get disappointed in the first place? The reason we get disappointed with people, it's because of the high expectations we have of them. Who are we to expect people to know better and do better, when the truth is we don't always practice what we preach. Do you please people all the time? No you don't. The less we expect of others, the less disappointed we will be. There will be no surprises, because we already know our own capabilities.

2. People will be people. It doesn't matter what you do or what you say, people will be people. Just like you, they will do whatever they want to do, whether you like it or not. They will sometimes be selfish, and only seek things that are beneficial to themselves. Deliver yourself from people. Don't allow people to control your emotions. We are always trying to seek approval of others, but the only approval we need is God's. It doesn't matter what they think, do God's will for your life. Sometimes there will be people that you won't get along with. And that's okay. These are the ones that you will have to love from a distance, but always show love. Misery likes company, so ignore miserable, negative people. Don't join them.

3. The only person you can change is yourself. Don't occupy yourself with worrying about people. You will only be wasting your time, and besides there are lots more important things you can invest your time in. Like reading a blog for inspiration. True happiness comes from God, but your happiness/misery depends on the choices you make. Show people how they should be, by being a better person. You can't change people. So focus on the one person you can change, yourself.

It's simple right? These are things you already know, but sometimes we just need a reminder. Remembering these three truths will help you keep your sanity when dealing with people. Because we can allow ourselves to feel all the negative emotions in the world, when it comes to dealing with people, but people will always be people. Forgive them, love them, pray for them, and carry on. Don't allow people to dictate who we are. Be honest to yourself and others.

Are you disappointed with people?  If you're not, what are your tips on dealing with people? Now it's your turn to open up. Let me know, by commenting below.


Peace and Love,

HeartMamaVI

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Things to Know Before/After Getting Married


"We have been dating for a few months, and this is the happiest I've been in my whole, entire life. He understands me, he respects me, and I believe he is my soul mate, my destiny....this is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I get so excited when he's around me, and when we are apart I miss him so much. I love him, with all my being."

If you are feeling this way, then you're obviously in love, and ready to take your relationship to the next level. Not so fast lovebird! Before you get married there are some things you need to know. It wouldn't be fair to jump in, and not know what you're getting yourself into, right?
Let's start off by getting a few facts/observations out of the way:

Fact #1: Marriage is a choice. You can choose to marry Mr. Wrong and you can choose to marry Mr. Right. But just because you say "I do", it doesn't mean you made the right decision. Not everyone is from God.

Fact #2: If there are things you need to fix in a man, marrying him won't fix it. You can't change a person's character, unless they want to change, or a miracle happens. And while God is still in business to perform miracles, unless the person is willing to receive it, nothing will change.

Fact #3: If there are 'red flags' while you're dating, and you can't see yourself dealing with it "until death do you part", then now is your chance to walk away. Those red flags are your warnings, don't ignore them. No one is perfect, but if you are fully aware of the man's imperfections, don't marry him and expect them to vanish.

Fact #4: Don't marry someone, unless you have seen their 'bad side'. Ever heard the saying, "If something is too good to be true, it's too good to be true." The worse thing you can do is marry someone having high expectations, and later regret it because you are now seeing their bad side.

Fact #5:This may be redundant, but I'll just say it again. The guy you choose to marry, will be the same guy during your marriage. He might end up being better, or  he might end up being worse. It's in the vows, and it's there for a reason. Expect the best, but prepare for the worse. Of course there's more, but that's for another blog.

THE GOOD

If you did make the right decision, then your marriage will be filled with more good times than bad. You will have:
  • A man that will love you, protect you, and provide for you.
  • A man that shares your values and beliefs.
  • A best friend for a lifetime.
  • A handsome man all to yourself to explore(1 Corinthians 7:4,5).
  • A man that will make sacrifices for you.
  • A man that accepts you for who you are.
  • A man that will support you, and be there for you on your quest to replenish the earth.
  • A man that will comfort you and build you up.
  • A man you can have fun with, and will make you laugh more than he makes you cry.
  • A man that fears God and is quick to make amends with you.
  • A man that will be honest to you, even when it may hurt you.
  • A man that respects you and those close to you.
THE BAD

There will be bad times. Don't be fooled, no relationship is perfect. Because just like us, men are not perfect. He will:

  • Make you angry. Because he knows exactly what pushes your buttons.
  • Make you cry, saying things that will hurt your feelings.
  • Not always agree with you on everything. No one will.
  • Do things that will annoy/frustrate you.
Ladies, he will do bad things, but it doesn't make him a bad person overall. I know sometimes we may feel like, "If he loves me, he wouldn't hurt me". While this is true, he is in a fleshly body; in it he will make mistakes. Overtime, he will improve, because he loves you, and doesn't want to hurt you. He will sincerely apologize, and communicate with you to resolve any conflicts that will arise. And this is a sign that you're in a healthy relationship.

THE UGLY

No one gets married, with the intention to divorce. Then again, I would hope no one does that. People marry, with the hopes of making it work, and having a long lasting, healthy relationship. But the truth is, sometimes we make the wrong decisions. We marry Mr. Wrong. While there are some rare cases where Mr. Wrong can end up being Mr. Right, it's very rare. This is the relationship that you should always seek Godly counseling about, and/or get away from. He will:

  • Break your trust over and over again. He will continuously be dishonest to you, whether it's lying to you, cheating on you, stealing from you...etc.
  • Verbally, physically, and/or mentally abuse you. He will hit you, he will try to lower your self esteem, and/or he will negatively mess with your mind/emotions. This environment is unsafe and unstable. Find somewhere safe to stay.
  • Not have sex with you. Not only because he doesn't want to, but because you don't feel comfortable enough to be intimate with him.
  • Not communicate effectively with you. You won't be able to talk to him about anything, without it turning out to be an argument. He won't listen to you and every conversation ends up being a waste, and your problems are never resolved.
  • Stress you out. You would rather stay at work, than to come home to him.
  • Cause you to have thoughts of suicide, but don't do it; he's not worth your life. 
  • Push you away.  He doesn't want to do anything with you. He stays in his lane, and expects you to do the same.
If you do decide to get married, or you are married, patience is key. Successful marriages don't just occur, they are developed. Pray together and always keep God at the center of your marriage. Do not worry, have doubts, or fear. Always remain positive in your relationship, don't let the Devil win. He wants division, because he knows a Godly partnership is powerful. If you believe God has joined you together with this man, put in the work. The results will be totally worth it.

What are your thoughts on marriage? Do you have some points to add to the good,  the bad, and the ugly? Let me know, comment below.

Peace and Love,

HeartMamaVI

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Natures All Natural Product Review

 
I purchased this all natural Shea Butter and Almond oil Shampoo and Conditioner. It's from a small business located in Tortola called Natures All Natural. They were in the Virgin Islands showcasing their products at the hair show. While many people flocked to the pricey/ familiar brands, I figured this starting up business would have the same, or better for less dollars. And guess what, I was right!
 
Smell
 
When I select a shampoo, the first thing I do is smell it. Because the last thing I want, is to be walking around with hair that smells like Castor oil mixed with vinegar. The smell is AMAZING! Like while writing this review, I literally sniffed it 20 times.
 
Lather
 
I love to get my money's worth when purchasing a product, therefore I want it to last me a long time. This bottle seems small, but a little goes a long way. My head is not small, and I have a full head of thick hair. The first wash: I pumped three times, applied to my wet hair,  shampooed the hair to removed all the product build up, and then rinsed. It did not lather as much, because my hair was extremely filthy. So after I rinsed, I repeated. The second time I only used two pumps, and it lathered up nicely! If you're like me, a nice lather always make you feel like your hair is becoming super clean.
 
The Feel of My Hair
 
As soon as I applied the product to my hair, it instantly felt silky smooth. So I thought it was because of all the products I had in my hair. So after I rinsed it out and repeated, OH MY GOSH, my hair was in smooth heaven. Usually after shampooing and conditioning I need a detangler to get the knots out, but with this, NOPE! All I did was sprayed a little water to my hair and combed it out. My hair feels clean, soft, and smells awesome!
 
Price

This shampoo and conditioner cost $15. I can't remember the exact size of the bottle, so I'm guessing it's a 12/14oz bottle. For an organic/all natural product, I'd say 15 bucks is worth it.
 
This 2 in 1 Shea butter and Almond Oil shampoo and conditioner is amazing! I will definitely be buying a replacement, when my bottle finishes. It's definitely a new favorite of mines.
 
Click this link to contact the owner, if your interested in trying it out for yourself. The image above also has the contact information on the pamphlet.
 
Peace and Love,
 
HeartMamaVI
 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Get Rid of that 'Mommy Belly'

 
I would consider myself to be petite. I am 5 foot 3inches and weigh 125lbs. When I tell people that I am on a diet, they give me the look that says, "Diet! You don't need to be on any diet."Although I am petite in clothes, I still have a Mommy tummy. Ever since I can remember, I have never had a flat stomach. I'm a foodie,  and all my weight gain goes directly to my stomach. So when I got pregnant, it got worse. After having my two sons, my stomach had wrinkles near the belly button area and got flabby. I would feel down when I saw how some women, even after pregnancy, had such flat stomachs. I wondered, why couldn't that be me. Some of the things I learned before attempting to get rid of my tummy were:
1. However your Mom's stomach looked after having you, chances are yours might end up looking the same.
2. If you had a big stomach before you got pregnant, you might end up having an even bigger stomach after.
3. Waist cinchers and belly bands don't help you achieve that flat tummy.
4. Your stomach might never look the same after having a child.
5. Crunches and sit-ups are bad for Moms that have diastase recti. ← Click on the link to see if you have it.
6. The only way to achieve a flat stomach is by having a tummy tuck(that's what my doctor said).

While some of these things are true, when I looked at my stomach in the mirror, I just knew I could be doing something more. After having two major surgeries to have my handsome boys, the last thing I want is a cosmetic surgery to fix my stomach. At the same time, I definitely did not want this mommy tummy either. If you follow me on Facebook , you would know that I started dieting and exercising on August 26, 2014. My waist was 30.5 inches and my stomach was 32.5 inches. That might seem small to you, but on a slim frame, not so much.
I was determined to lose my stomach. But to do so it required me to be consistent. Here are the things that I am doing:

1. Dieting. The only way to lose your stomach is through your kitchen. You are seriously what you eat. I am not trying to lose weight, just inches. So to do so I have to cut out the foods that cause me to maintain my big tummy in the first place. Oily foods(pizza, fast foods, etc.), excess starch, sweet desserts(cakes, buns, donuts, etc.), and juices are my enemies. I allow myself one cheat day per week(a day that I can eat something not so healthy), but when I do cheat I add an extra workout session. 

2. Exercise. I exercise 3-5 times a week for 25-30 minutes . If you are trying to lose weight, I would recommend exercising daily, even if it's just walking. Currently I am using the Your Shape Fitness Evolved 2012 for Xbox. Let's just say I am now thankful to my husband for getting me this 2 years ago. It has every exercise imaginable. My favorites are yoga, cardio boxing, and the shape and burn abs workout sessions.

3. Wrinkle cream. It helps to give your stomach a firmer look. Currently I am using Nerium(bought on ebay) and it's somewhat effective. When I look at my personal before and after photos, I see the difference, but then again I can't be certain it was just the cream(exercise helped).

4. Splinting.  A splint is basically a belly band. While it recommends you wear it all day and all night, it's too hot and uncomfortable. So I usually wear it when I'm working out, or on cool days while I'm home with the kids. But if you can wear it all day and all night, do it. It helps with burning the fat from your stomach, proper posture, and keeping your separated walls together.

The Results




 My waist is now 29.5 inches and my stomach is 28 inches. I haven't reached my goal as yet, but as you can see, the results so far keeps me motivated. When I reach my beach body goal, I will share my personal photos(topless). I'm almost there! If you want to know more information on my exercise routines, dieting tips, or anything regarding getting rid of that tummy, comment below.

Remember, eating right is the most effective way to lose that mommy tummy. And even though our bodies are a constant reminder of what we endured to make our beautiful children, we can become healthier to be there longer for them. The imperfections we can't change, embrace them, don't let them change you. You are beautiful regardless.

Peace and Love,

HeartMamaVI

Disclaimer: I am not paid by anyone to promote anything mentioned above these are things  that I purchased or were given as a gift.

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Love is like a Rose: Part 2

                                

If you haven't read Love is like a Rose: Part 1,← click the link.
 
After we got married, the first month or two were the roughest. We were adjusting to each other, and many things that we did would annoy one another. Thank God, after the first two months, we kinda got the hang of each other. I then realized how delicate and hurtful love can be. I saw how it's easy to check out of love when you're angry. I understood how anger can make you do/say things you will later regret. To make a marriage last, you have to give it time and work on it. I composed a list of some things that happened in my marriage, and some tips on how I handled them. I hope this helps you.
 
1. Rebuke the Devil. One of the cons of being married is that your husband knows exactly what buttons to push to get you upset. And if you're like me you're probably wondering, if you love someone why would you intentionally hurt them? The same reason you do it, of course. To get a reaction and because you're in this fleshly body... that's why. When this happens your first emotion is to get angry, and be on the defense. Don't even bother. It will only get worst. Rebuke the Devil, and give your husband some space. When he comes to his senses, which he will if he is a God-fearing man, you can level-headedly resolve the conflict.
 
2. Don't sweat the small stuff. I realized that in the beginning we argued about the silliest things. Like... we would spend an entire evening bitter to each other because someone didn't close the faucet properly. Like really? There are so many things to be grateful for, instead of wasting time arguing over silly stuff. Just accept it and move on. "Oh mehn, I really forgot the faucet on. I'll pay attention to that more the next time, my love." Just keep it moving.
 
3. Kiss him when you're angry. Yes in number one I said give him some space, but if you want to resolve the problem even faster, give him a kiss. Heck, make love while you're at it. Clear the anger in the air, then fix the problem. It's hard to remain angry, while kissing someone you love.
 
4. Cut your husband some slack. Men are so simple and we can be so hard on them, even when they're trying their best. If they are making a valid attempt on working things out, don't nag them, that only pushes them away. Keep praying for them, and let God work it out.
 
5. Agree to Disagree. Marriage has taught me to be selfless. I sometimes want things my way, and want to be right. But sometimes we just have to agree to disagree. Just say, "Hey I understand where you're coming from, but I'm just not on the same page at the moment." And if we're wrong, acknowledge it and carry on.

6. Communication. Communication is very important. You should be able to talk to your husband about anything. If he said or did something that you don't like, talk about it. Get it off your chest.
 
7. Together time is key. Life can get you busy. And with all this technology we can get so caught up. But never be to busy to spend time with each other. Sitting down together as a family to have dinner, going on picnics, watching a movie at home or at the cinema, dinner dates, taking a trip every year,..etc. Whatever you do, God first, family second. "A family that prays together stays together."
 
These seven things have helped me so much in the past few years of my marriage. And today I love my husband even more than I did before. We have disagreements now and then, who doesn't. But what really matters is having patience with each other, having the ability to resolve conflicts, and never forgetting how much we love each other. 
 
What are your thoughts on marriage/relationships? How do you make it work? I would love to know, so comment below.
 
Peace and Love,
 
HeartMamaVI
 
 
 
 

Friday, October 3, 2014

Ebola in the US




Hello there awesomeness! That's right I'm talking to you. TGIF and your weekend is here! I just wanted to drop an extra post for the week. Attention: I am about to partially rant, so bare with me.

Is it just me or are a lot of people not taking Ebola in the US into serious consideration? I hear so many people joking about it, a few seem concerned, while countless others are just acting like it's not happening. People are dying, mothers have lost their children, children have lost their parents, and the list goes on and on.Wake up folks! This is some serious stuff. People died and are still dying by the thousands with this deadly disease. Not forgetting, if you do contract this disease, you will have what seems to be a 50% chance of survival.

So with all this going on in Liberia, you would think they would have stopped people from leaving the place. But Noooooo! Here comes Thomas Eric Duncan and maybe others, spiteful, fully aware that he was in contact with Ebola victims landing on US soil. I guess he wanted the US to get in on the Ebola action, wicked!

Let's say the studies are true, that Ebola is an airborne disease, could you imagine how many people that might actually have been infected on the plane? And how those people affected are not just in one location and might have already spread it. But don't lose sleep over this folks, because the CDC director Tom Frieden says, "There is zero risk of transmission on the flight. ...I have no doubt that we will contain this." Great! I feel so much better now. Not! He later says, "We are all connected by the air we breathe." Well that helps a lot Tom, back to square one.

I don't believe the public is being told the entire truth, but that's the norm. At least we are aware and we know the possibilities. Protect yourself and your family. Take the necessary precautions, especially while in close proximities with those that appear ill. If you get a sudden flu-like symptoms, seek medical attention.
Plead the blood of Jesus over everything in our lives. Because although we can become fearful , God does not want us to fear. He is the only one we live for. And we have the victory over death, because when we die, we are one step closer to heaven.

What are your views on Ebola? Let me know, by commenting below.

"Love is like a Rose" Part 2 will be up on Wednesday, so be sure to read Part 1. Have a Blessed Weekend.



Peace and Love,

HeartMamaVI

Wednesday, October 1, 2014

Love is Like a Rose: Part 1





I always enjoyed reading love stories and dreamed of finding my Prince Charming someday. For a while, I thought it would never happen. Don't get me wrong, I had boyfriends, but I just knew in my heart, they were only for a season and not a lifetime. After my last break-up, I decided to give men a break. I was tired of investing my emotions, time, and money to a man that eventually needed to exit my life. It was time I started to focus on me, my spiritual walk with God, school, making money, and achieving my goals in life. But when one door closes another always opens up.

While attending the University of the Virgin Islands, I never met guys that I saw a future with. Most of them were just interested in meeting females, hanging out, or having sex. And I was "not about that life".  There was this one guy though. We always had classes together and he was both an awkward nerd and a kinda cool guy. His personality was very similar to mines: he always had a smile on his face, and he had a great sense of humor. We spoke to each other briefly about class and other things in the moment, but our conversations were never personal.

Then there was this one time, our class had just finished and we were both walking to our cars together. I was talking to him about where I worked. I was so excited that day, because I had just won a pair of sunglasses that cost $275, but it was a man's sunglasses. I had him try them on. They looked pretty good on him. Guess what I did? I gave it to him. What! You gave some random guy a pair of sunglasses that cost $275?!! Yes I did. Because although he was a random guy, he was super sweet. I could just tell he had a good spirit. In the process of all this happening, I accidentally locked my keys in my car. He borrowed me his car, so that I could get my extra car keys from my mother.

The next day, he was still surprised that I had given him a free pair of designer sunglasses. He told me that his brother draws, and that he can have him draw a picture for me. Really? Was this the best this guy could offer? How about some cash? Haha! But he was being genuine, so I just accepted. One night, he texted me, saying that his brother had finished with the picture. He wanted me to meet him at the theater's parking lot to pick it up. I had just gotten out of class, it was around 8PM. I said yes. He was wearing a vest and some basketball shorts. Why did I remember such details? It was the first time, I saw his body. That's why. Guy had a frame, that was usually hidden behind a large shirt and long trousers. We talked for a couple hours, until my mother got worried and wanted me to come home. Apart from this time, we never saw each other outside of school.

In 2008, we had two classes together. One of which, I sat directly behind him and the other I sat next to him. He always wore polo shirts, pleated trousers, and his navy blue backpack tightly strapped to his back. He was very smart and he helped a good amount of us to pass the class. Little that I knew, this was only the beginning of the rest of our lives. In the second class, we had a group project, and of course he was one of my group members . We flirted a lot! Every time I saw him, I got so excited inside. We called each other husband and wife almost the entire semester.

Then I got nervous. Here was this guy calling me his wife, and I'm calling him my husband, yet he never asked me out. So I confided in one of my group members. I told her I really should stop calling him my husband, next thing he takes me too seriously vice versa. She told me, "He's a great guy." And kinda encouraged a relationship with him. While talking to her one thing caught my attention. She told me that he attended the same church that she did. What! A young man in his early 20s going to church all by himself?  I always prayed that God would bless me with a man that was more spiritually mature than I was. Maybe he was the one I thought, but I was afraid of being wrong yet again.

The semester was ending and guess what? He asked me out. We went on a few dates, and had a good time. Our friendship was growing beautifully.  But the fear came upon me again. I didn't want him to be just another guy that was all about sex. I did not want just another guy that seemed perfect, things change, and the relationship eventually ends. I wasn't ready to invest my time into another guy, and regret it later. So I wrote him the longest letter expressing my fears and what I hoped for in a man, and I read it to him. My hopes was that he would respectfully walk away and not waste my time, or that he wants the same things that I did and was willing to fight for it.

He assured me that he was never a guy to pursue women for sex. He told me that he has always occupied his time with work and school, and that he never had time for serious relationships. He told me that he doesn't want to waist his time either, and that if he gets into a relationship, it will be with someone he sees in his distant future. He said, he sees me in it and that if I wasn't ready for a serious relationship with him at the moment, he was willing to wait until I was ready. What happened next is no surprise.

That night, November 12, 2008, I got the title of being his girlfriend and he was my boyfriend. He was the best boyfriend a girl could ever have. He was handsome, respectful, loving, funny, God-fearing, smart, responsible, and goal driven. We talked on the phone for hours, we went to almost all the restaurants on island, we saw all the best tourist attractions, we texted each other everyday, and almost all day. I loved him and he loved me. On my birthday, July 23, 2009, we spent the entire day together. The day ended with a dinner date and a walk on the beach. We talked about our relationship thus far, and how happy we've been together. He told me that he will never let me go. So he got down on one knee, with a big smile on his face, and pulled out a box and opened it. It was a little dark, but I could see all the sparkles in the ring. He asked me to marry him. And I said YES! Then on May 22, 2010, we got married. This was the day that changed the rest of my life. The day I vowed my life to love and cherish,  the most precious gem I can call my own, my Ruby.

Love is like a rose,
As it grows it becomes more beautiful,
But it should be handled delicately,
Because it's thorns can be hurtful and it's petals can be easily torn.

If you enjoyed reading my love story, stay tune for part two. It will be about the thorns and delicateness of love being like a rose. Stay updated by following by email. You can also find me on Facebook and Twitter at HeartMamaVI (links are on the right).

What are your views on love? What was your love story like? Do you believe in destiny or choice? I would love to know, so do comment below.


Peace and Love,

HeartMamaVI