Have you ever felt like your boyfriend/husband just doesn't understand you? Do you feel like you're talking to a wall? Well that's because you are! Haha! What about when you ask him, "how does this look" and his response is always "good". Arggg! In his mind, he just doesn't want to be bothered or is simply trying to avoid an additional explanation. Or at least that's how he comes across. In all honesty, men seem to be very simple minded. Women can be more complex all around. Sometimes we expect them to be like us, because only then will they truly understand us completely. But since that's not happening, here are some ways to effectively communicate with men.
- Be specific. If you want to know what's going on in his head be very particular. Try avoiding broad questions like "what are you thinking about"? Chances are he has a lot on his mind, but to avoid going into details, his response will be, "nothing". Ask specific questions such as, "Am I revealing too much cleavage in this dress." When you are specific, you will receive a more substantial response.
- Stick to one or two topics at a time. So you sat there talking to him for 15 minutes and after all that he gives a one or two words response, "oh yea" "wow". Don't even bother to ask him to repeat what you said. "I was listening", he quickly responds followed by a laugh. To avoid wasting your breath and unnecessarily repeating yourself, stick to one or two topics at a time.
- Don't expect him to tell you anything. You will only disappoint yourself. Have you ever told him, "You should have just told me that"? He's not thinking about what he should or should not tell you. If you ask, then he'll answer. Otherwise, his brain remains in it's cubical. Men seem to focus on one thing at a time. It's not that they forget, but what might seem relevant to you at the moment ...is not on their top priority. So ask specific questions.
- Avoid talking to him when he's hungry or angry. This is probably the only time men can become as complex as women. This is when they can talk about multiple topics and be totally honest, no sugar added. Although this can seem like a good thing for you(finally you get to hear what's going on in that brain of his), It can also be bad for the both of you. Here's why. When he's hungry/angry, he's not thinking straight. So he might just say some hurtful things to you, which will make you upset, and lead you to returning the favor. Then you guys are giving each other the cold shoulder, and an entire night is wasted. Simply avoid him while he's angry. It will save you the tears, headache, heartache, and frustration later.
- Keep in mind that not all topics might interest him. I know we expect to be able to talk to our partners about any and everything, and you can. But do not be surprise when you don't receive the anticipated feedback . Instead, call one of your girlfriends that can relate to the topic.
- Avoid texting. Texts can be misinterpreted, because you can't see his reaction and vice versa. So you're left to making assumptions. Call him instead.
- Pray for him. At the end of the day, only God can help him understand you. In your prayers also be specific about what you would like God to improve about your partner. And until they are manifested, follow the previous 6 tips.
Stay positive and remember, true happiness comes from your belief in God. Subscribe, comment, and connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.
Peace and Love,