Communicating With Men

Have you ever felt like your boyfriend/husband just doesn't understand you? Do you feel like you're talking to a wall? Well that's because you are! Haha! What about when you ask him, "how does this look" and his response is always "good". Arggg! In his mind, he just doesn't want to be bothered or is simply trying to avoid an additional explanation. Or at least that's how he comes across. In all honesty, men seem to be very simple minded. Women can be more complex all around. Sometimes we expect them to be like us, because only then will they truly understand us completely. But since that's not happening, here are some ways to effectively communicate with men.

1. Be specific. If you want to know what's going on in his head be very particular. Try avoiding broad questions like "what are you thinking about"? Chances are he has a lot on his mind, but to avoid going into details, his response will be, "nothing". Ask specific questions such as, "Am I revealing too much cleavage in this dress." When you are specific, you will receive a more substantial response.
2. Stick to one or two topics at a time. So you sat there talking to him for 15 minutes and after all that he gives a one or two words response, "oh yea"  "wow". Don't even bother to ask him to repeat what you said. "I was listening", he quickly responds followed by a laugh. To avoid wasting your breath and unnecessarily repeating yourself, stick to one or two topics at a time.
3. Don't expect him to tell you anything.  You will only disappoint yourself. Have you ever told him, "You should have just told me that"? He's not thinking about what he should or should not tell you. If you ask, then he'll answer. Otherwise, his brain remains in it's cubical. Men seem to focus on one thing at a time. It's not that they forget, but what might seem relevant to you at the moment ...is not on their top priority. So ask specific questions.
4. Avoid talking to him when he's hungry or angry. This is probably the only time men can become as complex as women. This is when they can talk about multiple topics and be totally honest, no sugar added. Although this can seem like a good thing for you(finally you get to hear what's going on in that brain of his), It can also be bad for the both of you. Here's why. When he's hungry/angry, he's not thinking straight. So he might just say some hurtful things to you, which will make you upset, and lead you to returning the favor. Then you guys are giving each other the cold shoulder, and an entire night is wasted. Simply avoid him while he's angry. It will save you the tears, headache, heartache, and frustration later.
5. Keep in mind that not all topics might interest him. I know we expect to be able to talk to our partners about any and everything, and you can. But do not be surprise when you don't receive the anticipated feedback . Instead, call one of your girlfriends that can relate to the topic.  
6. Avoid texting. Texts can be misinterpreted, because you can't see his reaction and vice versa. So you're left to making assumptions. Call him instead.
7. Pray for him. At the end of the day, only God can help him understand you. In your prayers also be specific about what you would like God to improve about your partner. And until they are manifested, follow the previous 6 tips.

After living with a man for many years, I've truly learned to appreciate the phrase "less is more".These are just a few ways that has helped me effectively communicate with my partner. What are some of your ways?

Stay positive and remember, true happiness comes from your belief in God. Subscribe, comment, and connect with me on Twitter and Facebook.

Peace and Love,
HeartMamaVI

Feeling Lonely on Valentine's Day?

 

 

I remember my days of hating Valentine's Day. I would watch all the other girls parade the hallways with their boxes of chocolate, teddy bears, and flowers. I couldn't wait for the day I could have someone to celebrate their love for me everyday and a little extra on Valentine's Day. Until that day  comes here are my top 5 ways to defeat loneliness on Valentine's Day.

 

 

1. Treat Yourself. Whether it's a pedicure, manicure, a box of chocolate, take-out at a nice restaurant...etc. spoil yourself.

 

2. Hang out with one or some of your friends and family. There are many others that haven't found that special someone and they might just be one of your friends or family member. Get dressed in your sexiest attire and get out the house!

 

3. Be happy for others. It's pointless to be negative and bitter about Valentine's Day. Instead be positive. Genuinely show interest in what others are planning to do on this day and just be happy for them. Erase negativity or if you really can't just keep it to yourself.

 

4. Get closer to God. When you have an intimate relationship with God you won't feel the need to have someone celebrate their love for you, because God does that everyday. And later on when that someone special comes along it will just be an added perk.

 

5. Do something(s) that you really enjoy. If you have a hobby now is the time to indulge yourself in it. If you like to shop , go buy a new outfit. If you have a favorite movie, pop some popcorn and watch it.

 

 

Don't ever feel lonely on any day, especially on Valentine's Day. The world is filled with people looking for love and wanting to share love. Get out there! Enjoy this and every Valentine's Day. Share, comment, and subscribe. New post every Fridays!

 

 

Peace and Love,

 

HeartMama

Top 5 Ways to Keep Your Husband Happy

 

There are so many ways to make your hubby happy, but here are my top five ways:

1. Stop Complaining. In a man's eyes he is doing the best he can to make you happy. However, women are different; we are naturally more emotional than men, and can't keep our feelings bottled up. We want his world to revolve around us and for him to treat us like the queens that we are. But here's the thing ladies, when a man truly loves you, everything he does automatically revolves around you and your well-being. When we complain it comes across as we are unhappy, unsatisfied, and makes a man very uninterested/stressed. Instead of complaining, show your appreciation for what he does do and in return he will continue to do more.
2. Avoid doing things that he doesn't like. This one is a no-brainer. But guess what, it's easier said than done. Although men do not share their feelings as often, if something really bothers a man he will let you know. For instance, if you know your husband doesn't like when you leave your clothes on the bed, don't. Simple right?
3. Keep him well fed. "The way to a man's heart is through his stomach." Well, that saying is very correct. Men tend to be grumpy when they're hungry, whether they care to admit it or not. Cooking a meal, making a quick sandwich, or bringing him his favorite snack can light up his heart.
4. Be sexually active. Sexually active is another no-brainer...all types of sex works! Men are sexual beings ( so are some women), and as tired as we can be emotionally or physically...fulfill this need. It helps relieve the stresses/tensions of life for both you and him....if done correctly that is. 
5. Be organized/clean. No, I am not saying to be a neat freak, but a little organization won't hurt. If a man is unorganized, the last thing he wants is a woman who's just as bad. Fixing the bed in the mornings, removing all your make-up stuff from the sink area, keeping your bags in one spot...etc.

With these top 5 ways and having God as the foundation of your relationship, the happiness is endless! What are your ways of keeping your hubby happy? Share, subscribe, and comment.

You can also follow me on Twitter or like me on Facebook. Remember I will try my best to have new posts every Fridays. I will be doing my first giveaway soon so please vote(top right of this page). Have a blessed day!

Peace and love,

HeartMama