Wednesday, December 31, 2014

Fake People Don't Exist

Here I was scrolling through social media every week, and every week I guarantee you someone's status has something to do with 'fake friends' or 'fake people'. It made me wonder, who were they talking to, the people that they accepted their friend request, or the ones that they intentionally made their information public to. Either way I felt like this needed to be addressed. I might even be called fake for saying so, but hey, that's just the way the world works.

Don't get me wrong, I use to be a firm believer in the existence of 'fake people', until one day the light bulb went on. Fake people don't exist, unless the person appears to be human, but has some sort of alien or none-human DNA, then yea, they're fake. But on a serious note, it's not just the literal aspect that I don't agree with, it's the concept on a whole. I did some digging and underlined some of the top characteristics that a 'fake person' has. I will then tell you the truth, and the why it doesn't make them fake at all. It's lengthy, but bare with me to truly understand.

Compliments too much or doesn't compliment at all.
Let's say you don't feel fabulous at all, and a stranger or someone you don't care much for, gives you a compliment. Oh boy, they're being fake, right?

Here's another example. You're wearing a new outfit. You look at yourself in the mirror, and you say "Girl, you look fabulous." You exit your house and no one, I mean no one, that you know gives you a compliment. So are they your real peeps, haters, or what? Because you would think if they were your 'real friends', they could at least give a sister a compliment, right?
 
The Truth: Just because someone gives you too many compliments, it doesn't make them fake at all. Maybe they really do like whatever it is they complimented, or they just want to make you feel good. If they're lying to you, then that's between them and God. Someone says something nice to you, say thank you. Stop worrying about whether it's genuine or not.
Also, just because your 'real people' don't give you a compliment, it does not mean they are fake. Everyone has their own things going on. The last thing that might be on someone's mind is the outfit you're wearing. Like really, the world does not revolve around you. Selfish much?
Yes, that was a little harsh, but it's the truth.

Pretends their life is peachy
This person is always smiling, happy, and appears to have their life together. They post pictures of how happy they are, how in love they are, and their life is peachy. And that makes you upset. Why? Because your life is in the pits, so they have to be fake, right?

The Truth: First of, what is it to you? Like why do you care so much? It's their life. Whether or not they are pretending, that does not make them fake. It makes them human pretenders. No one wants people to see them hurting, depressed, poor, down and out, struggling...etc. Like really? No one wants to glorify how suck their life is. Who does that, do you?

Talk behind people's backs
This person appears to be cool with you, they might even be your 'loyal friend'. But behind your back they talk about what an idiot you are. They even tell multiple people about what an idiot you are, except you. Then you hear it through a grapevine, and you're pissed. He/she is fake right?

The Truth: Don't pretend for one second that you have never in your entire life spoken badly about someone behind their backs. I know I have. Is it good? Nope. But are you fake for doing it? Nope. It's called being a human being. Of course you should be honest and tell someone in front their faces that they are being a complete idiot. But we don't always do that, now do we. Tell you why? Because we either care about that person's feelings, or we're afraid of their reaction. 

Yes there are some backstabbing, disloyal, dishonest, gossiping people. That's what they are, they're not fake at all. They're just real disloyal, dishonest, gossiping people. Yep, those kinds of people do exist.

Has the ability to make you feel like crap
This person tells you the truth or a lie to intentionally make you feel like crap.

The Truth: They are not fake, they are simply being jerks. Everyone has the ability to make you feel like crap, if they try hard enough. My husband is a jerk sometimes and I return the favor. Lol! Does that make us fake? Nope. It makes us human.

Appears to be someone they're not.
This person appears to be a sweetheart, but is truly evil underneath. Or vice versa

The Truth: Pretending to be sweet, when you're sour does not make you fake at all. No one wants to appear to be a bad person. People want to be likable. If someone is pretending to be sweet, when you know (like God does) that they are actually sour, then just maybe, they are trying to be better. Because a true sour person won't even attempt to be sweet. And who knows, they might be going through something. People are the way they are for a reason, it does not mean they are fake.

Isn't there when you need them.
This person you are always there for, and the moment you need them, they are gone with the wind.

The Truth: Of course there are some cases where some people always need you for something, and when you need them, they are non-existent. Those people aren't fake at all, they are called users. Users take, take, take, and the moment you open your hands to receive from them, they disappear.

There's also cases where you're not really there for them at all. And just maybe they can read you like a book. Or just maybe you are too needy. Or just maybe you do things to get things in return.
So they're fake, because they won't give in to all your needs, right? How often have you given into their needs? And if you did, why are you taking notes? You get my point right.

Does not  reach out to you.
You're always the one reaching out to this person, and they never try to reach out to you. This person is only there for you when it's convenient to them. This person even ignores your calls/texts.

The Truth: So why are you still trying to reach out to them? Clearly they are not interested in maintaining a relationship with you, right? Maybe. Or they might just be busy, overwhelmed, or just don't feel like talking or responding to you. They could careless about how you feel about it. Just because someone doesn't take one minute out of their entire day to send you a text or call you, it doesn't mean they don't care about you. They're just doing their own thing, and you need to do the same.

If you truly want to reach out to this person, do so. But don't do so with the hopes that they will automatically start reaching out to you. Expect the best, prepare for the worst. That's just how life works.

Are invited to your events, but you are never invited to theirs.
This person you try to include them in your life. You invite them to your functions, but they never invite you to theirs.

The Truth: If they did have a function that you knew about, then I can see why you're into your feelings. But it doesn't make them fake. Maybe they felt you probably wouldn't want to come(assumptions are bad). Or maybe they just did not want you there. Or maybe they just did not want to bother you. Who knows. If you really want to know why you weren't invited, ask the person.

Also, not everyone is as social as you are. Yes they might come to your events, if you invite them. But that does not mean they have events. If they're like me, they probably don't have events. Maybe they have a husband that's not into those kinda stuff(speaking about myself here). So don't get your panty/brief tied up in a bunch about it. Just ask the person.

Tries to please everyone.
This person is a social butterfly. They get along with everyone and can relate to anything. I mean they did it all, and know it all. He/she is a people pleaser and a very good one.

The Truth: You and I both know that you can't please everyone. So as much as this person appears to be pleasing everyone. They're not. But why are you so bothered about them being an entertainer? Yes, that's not your cup of tea. But to each it's own.  Maybe this person genuinely gets along with anyone, and have a lot of experience with things. So! That's them. What is it to you? They're not being fake, they're being them. Whether or not they are pretending, that's not your concern. That's theirs. Let their conscience bother them, not yours.

Tells a lot of lies.
This person is always lying. Like every word out of their mouth is literally unbelievable.

The Truth: This person is not fake. This person is a pathological liar. Enough said.

Before you attempt to throw stones and call people 'fake' evaluate yourself. Because chances are you have done, or are doing all the things you consider 'fake people' to be doing. It does not make you fake at all. It makes you a person. And people will be people.

We will sin, we will do/say bad things, and that's not being fake at all, that's being a spiritual being in a fleshly body. The struggle to do the right thing is real. So when people don't always do the right thing or do the things that we expect them to do,  it doesn't make them fake. It makes them human, and it makes you selfish and/or unrealistic. Because who are you to call someone 'fake', when you do the same exact things that they do. I'm just saying.

I know that I am coming across a little harsh, but this is me speaking from my heart. I'm speaking to myself too. This is tough love, but it's the truth.

If someone has wronged you, that's life. Forgive them and move on. Because chances are this will happen several more times in your lifetime.

If you have wronged someone, acknowledge it, apologize, repent, and try your outmost best to not repeat. Let your conscience be your guide.

This New Year recognize people for who they are and don't label them as 'fake'. That's just life, and people will be people. We still shower them with love, and try to  be a better person. Be safe and have a blessed New Year!

Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below. What are your thoughts?


Peace and Love.

Wednesday, December 17, 2014

The Things I Love Most About Christmas

Growing up in Dominica, I never had much of a Christmas. I vaguely remember when I was under the age of 5,  I got a doll one year, and I remember having a tree once. But then again, there is a possibility that this was all made up in my head. As I did have a huge imagination. Haha! I also remember during Christmas time the town area had a lot of cheap China toys. Somehow that sticks out in my memory.

After we moved to St. Thomas and as I got older in my pre-teens/teenage years, my older brother started to put up a Christmas tree. And if there's a tree, there will be gifts. So as a child I looked forward to Christmas, and getting gifts. I also remembered singing (Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas),  and acting in plays at church during Christmas time. I never appreciated Santa, neither was I given the opportunity to believe in him, because he never gave me anything. I guess I was too naughty. All this shaped me to be the Christmas fanatic I am today. If I had to choose between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I would choose Christmas every time. Here are the things I love most about Christmas.

The Reason

I absolutely love the reason behind Christmas. It is a celebration of the birth of Jesus Christ. God sent his only son to be the ultimate sacrifice for mankind. Born in Bethlehem, to a virgin Mary, he came to die so that we can live. If you don't believe that Jesus is the son of God, you should. Jesus said, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me(John 14:6)." Jesus is the reason for the season. I enjoy the Christmas plays, the Christmas concerts, and  the Christmas services illustrating the true meaning of Christmas.


The Surrounding

I've lived on an island all my life, so I've never seen snow, but during Christmas time it gets chilly. After being in the constant heat all year round, a little chill is much appreciated. I like the decorations almost everywhere. I like driving around in the night to see the Christmas lights. I like how busy the stores are, and the Christmas music they play all day long. I like how people seem so happy and pleasant. The overall Christmas surroundings is lovely.

The Christmas Tree

Listen, I love putting up the tree, but I hate taking it down. So guess what? My tree stayed up last year. It's something about the Christmas tree that's just so beautiful. Ha-ha! The ornaments, the lights, the garland, the ribbons, the bows, the mat... everything about the Christmas tree is pretty.

The Gifts

I don't buy gifts all year round for my family and friends, so during Christmas time I like to spread a little extra love if my pocket allows it. Also all the gifts that I did not receive throughout the year, I get them on Christmas. Giving and receiving gifts is always a blessing.

The Christmas Treats

Yes, I'm eating healthy, but a little guava berry tart during the holidays, never hurt nobody. Not to mention all the holiday treats in the stores, like the classic Danish Butter Cookies...yummmm! I might not be able to eat it all, but I'll try a tiny piece of everything, if I could.

The Family Gatherings

Very similar to Thanksgiving, the family gets time off from work during the Christmas holidays. There's food, there's fun, and there's fellowship. I love that! I'm a family gal, so anything with the family, I'm all in.

I hope you enjoyed getting to know me a little more. Now it's your turn.

What do you love most about Christmas?

Peace and Love.

Wednesday, December 10, 2014

10 Favorite Things| Gift Ideas for Her

I'm going to tell you my favorite things that will make some excellent gift ideas for her, or for yourself. I own these items, consistently use them like I do water, and replace them when they're finished. Because they are truly amazing! There are many places you can buy all the items that I'm about to mention, but you can click on the images for an example location. No sponsors or affiliated links.

Here are my 10 favorite things that will make awesome gifts for her:
1. Dior: Hypnotic Poison - The name says it all. The scent of this is hypnotizing. It's worth every penny.
      
http://www.sephora.com/hypnotic-poison-P4484
 
2. Marc Jacobs: Honey- This fragrance is light and fresh. I love it! Put a lil on before bed, on a night out, or for everyday wear, it's awesome! 
 
http://www.amazon.com/Jacobs-Honey-Parfum-Spray-Women/dp/B00DJ7AJJI
 
3. Bath & Body Works: Japanese Cherry Blossom Shimmer gel & Body Lotion- The smell of this is delicious. One side is shimmer, one side is lotion. You can choose which side you want more of. It's amazing!
    http://www.amazon.com/Bath-Body-Works-Shimmer-Japanese/dp/B006QNNIU4
4. Aveeno Products: I absolutely love Aveeno products, from there foaming face cleanser to their daily moisturizing lotions. It makes your skin look and feel amazing. Plus, you can use it on the kiddies to make their skin feel extra soft. Get an Aveeno Gift Set, she won't be disappointed.


http://www.walmart.com/ip/21670319?www=true&productRedirect=true
5. Mary Kay Gift Certificate- Mary Kay Crème to Powder Foundation- I am not a Mary Kay representative, let's get that out of the way. But if you want the ultimate natural looking makeup, you need Mary Kay Crème to Powder Foundation. I wouldn't recommend you selecting a color for someone, so a gift card is the best option. Find a Mary Kay representative and have them tell you which color would work best on your skin.
 
http://www.marykay.com/en-US/_layouts/MaryKayCoreLocator/Locate.aspx
 
 
6. Gold/Silver hoop earrings- Every woman needs a pair of gold/silver hoop earrings in her life. They are the simplest accessories to wear with any outfit, anytime, and anywhere.
 
http://www.meenajewelers.com/details/Earrings/Hoop_Earrings/13403/22K_Designer_Gold_Hoop_Earrings_/
 
7. Gladiator sandals- Out of all the shoes I own(over 10 now), I use my gladiator sandals the most. Why? Because they look and feel amazing on. Find out her shoe size and get her a pair preferably in a color that goes with anything (brown/black). Please refrain from those cheaply made ones, get a nice sturdy pair that will last.

http://www.zappos.com/sofft-bernia-luggage-goat-leather-pull-up

8. Underwear- All those color options and styles, what's not to like? Get her a Lingerie gift card. If you know her size, get her a few sets (matching bra & panties).

http://www.adoreme.com/bras-and-panties.html

9. Clothes- We where it everyday, so if we don't like, we better learn to like it. Get her a gift certificate to a nice clothing store, or find out her size, and purchase an entire outfit.

http://www.drjays.com/shop/G2-V656-R396-P1849025/dresses/the-cocktail-hour-body-con-dress.html

10. Makeup- Like some women, I like to experiment with makeup. From lip glosses to baked eye-shadows, if she wears makeup, she won't mind a few palettes, new color glosses, or a gift card to select her own. Of course, it doesn't have to be MAC. But a gift card to a popular makeup shop won't be a bad idea(MAC, Sephora, Estée Lauder. Etc.).

http://www.maccosmetics.com/index.tmpl

If you're buying a gift for her, not sure what to add to your Christmas list, or will be doing Christmas presents for yourself, consider my ten favorite things. They can turn out to be your favorites also.

What are your current favorite things? Let me know in the comments below. I hope this helped.

Peace and Love. 

Friday, December 5, 2014

20 Holiday Gift Ideas for Him





It's the most wonderful time of the year! Yes, for me it's Christmas time! I absolutely  love the holidays, celebrating the birth of Jesus, the music, the lights, the weather, the decorations, the food, the atmosphere....everything! The hardest part about it all is buying gifts.

Every year I ask my husband, what he wants for Christmas, and every year he says the same thing....nothing. Like really? So while everyone is opening presents, you expect absolutely nothing. I don't think so!

With that said, if you have a husband, boyfriend, brother, male friend that never wants anything, doesn't know what he wants, or you simply want to give him something from your heart for the holidays, then keep reading. You know him best, so ignore the things that won't suit him. Here are  20 holiday gift ideas for him.
  1. Cologne
  2. Watch
  3. Clothes (E.g. a casual outfit, dress shirts for work, jeans. Etc)
  4. Edible arrangements
  5. His favorite snacks
  6. Something that he likes that you don't do often
  7. A gift card from his favorite store or electronics store
  8. A replacement for something he abuses (e.g house slippers)
  9. Shoes
  10. Underwear
  11. Console Games (if he has one)
  12. Shaving Set (It will have  a trimmer, shaving cream, after shave, ..etc)
  13. Portable Battery Charger
  14. A good book
  15. A case for his electronic device
  16. Natural bath soaps
  17. Wallet (Make sure it looks better than the one he has)
  18. Personalized keychain (You can use a picture of you and him or/and create a personalized message)
I hope you found this list to be helpful. Have a happy holiday! Remember, be smart with money. Always shop around for the best prices.

Remember to subscribe,  follow me on Facebook, Google+, and twitter.

Peace & Love.





Wednesday, December 3, 2014

5 Tips to Keep Your Vagina Healthy, Fresh & Clean

Just like some other parts of our bodies, our vaginas need some extra TLC. You may be thinking, "I take baths 2-3 times a day, and that's all I need." Well, if you're the only one that's going to smell your vagina, and you don't necessarily care much about the health of your vagina, then yes that may be all you need. But for the ladies that want to be absolutely certain that their vaginas are healthy, clean, and smelling its freshest, then you have come to the right place. The last thing you want is to be insecure about the scent of your vagina. A smelly vagina can lead to public embarrassment and sexual discomfort. You don't want that! Here are five tips to keep your vagina healthy, fresh, and clean.

Get a Vagina Haircut

Just like the hairs on the rest of your body, the hairs on your vagina serves a purpose. It is to protect 'her'. I would not recommend shaving, as this can cause cuts, bruises, and increase your chances of being infected, but trim her down as low as possible. Keeping your vagina trimmed is a great way to prevent odors, that having a long bushy, 'vagifro' can cause. There are lots of personal groomers on the market, invest in one.

Use Wipes

If you are drinking liquids and eating regularly, you should be using the bathroom at least four times a day to pee/poop, or both. Although everyone's body is different, the fact remains that you use the restroom everyday. Toilet paper alone, just won't cut it. And if you don't believe me, use toilet paper as usual, and at the end of the day, use a wipe, and wipe from front to back. Look at it, you can even smell it. Case dismissed! With every restroom visit, you are wiping with toilet paper right? Well just like you don't clean a baby's private parts with toilet paper, don't clean yours with it either. Don't get me wrong, you don't have to completely omit toilet paper. You can use it to do a preliminary wiping before using the wipes or you can use it pat dry after using the wipes(air drying is best). I would not recommend using scented wipes, because it can cause infections/negative reactions for some women. But I would recommend using unscented, all natural, sensitive wipes. There are lots of different brands out there, find one that works best for you. And if your don't care to purchase wipes, simply damp some toilet paper, and use as necessary.

Use a Feminine Wash

Don't wash your vagina with any old soap. Use one that is specifically designed for 'her'. Most soaps contain lots of fragrance and chemicals that can cause irritations, and overall are not the best for your vagina.  Use a natural, fragrance free feminine wash. My current favorite is The Honey Pot Lavender feminine wash. It is amazing!


Use Clean Hands vs. Washcloths

Say goodbye to washcloths, and hello to using your hands. If you don't already know, washcloths contain germs and even mold. It is recommended that you wash them after every use, but who does that? Washing them can decrease the amount of germs in them, but it won't eliminate it. Instead of washing your vagina with a germs-filled washcloth, use your clean hands. Apply a generous amount of feminine wash, and clean area as directed(from front to back). Never use the hand you washed your anus with to wash your vagina.  Think about it, don't you use the same washcloth to wash your butt, and then the next day use the same exact washcloth to wash your vagina. I know, it's gross and a tab bit TMI to discuss. But you get the point that I'm trying to make.

Wear 100% Cotton Panties

You've probably heard this a million and one times, but yet you don't always do it. I'm not saying you can't occasionally wear different types of panties, but for your everyday, all day wear, it is highly recommended that you wear cotton panties. The same way cotton pillowcases absorb moisture from your hair, a cotton underwear absorbs excess moisture from your vagina. It helps to prevent yeast infections, vaginal irritations, and allows your vagina to breathe easy. Nowadays there are so many cute, sexy cotton panties. When you think of cotton panties, don't think of them as 'granny panties' or 'bingo bags', think of them as a healthier, comfortable panty option.

Additional Tip: If you wish to make her smell extra delicious, use a light/musky perfume, or perfumed body nectar, and apply it 5-6 inches above your knees, on your inner thighs. Perfect for when you're wearing nightgowns, short skirts, dresses, pants...Etc. Never use perfumes directly on your vagina or underwear.

I hope you found this information helpful. If you have persistent smelly vaginal odors, please consult your health care professional before trying new products, or to get medical advice.

Hygiene is very important, especially for women. We sometimes aim to look our best, but being healthy, clean, and smelling our absolute best is most important.

Which of the five tips do you agree/disagree with?

Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.

Peace and Love.

References
Everyday Health: Dressing Right to Prevent Yeast infections
How Stuff Works: How often Should I wash my Washcloth
Note: I was not sponsored by anyone to promote any of the products mentioned above.

Wednesday, November 26, 2014

5 Tips on Making the Most of your Thanksgiving Holiday


When you think of Thanksgiving, what is the first thing that comes to mind? Food right? Well at least for most people, that's always the major concern, cooking or eating. But Thanksgiving is so much more than just the food. Here are 5 tips on making the most of your Thanksgiving Holiday.

1. Spend time with God. Although this is something we should be doing everyday, if you don't, you should at least do it on Thanksgiving Day. Thanksgiving is about being grateful for all that we have. So who's most deserving of our appreciation. God. Sometimes we're so busy cooking and eating that we spend less than 2 minutes with God(which is the prayer before we eat the food). And it's sad. When you wake up pray, have a Thanksgiving devotion with the family, read the bible together, sing praise & worship songs, and/or go to church. Bottom-line, spend time with God.

2. Spend time with family and friends, especially your extended family. It's not everyday we spend quality time with our extended family and friends. Sometimes we don't even get along with some of them. But Thanksgiving is a great day to catch up over a nice plate of food, and yummy drinks. Whether or not our family and friends are the best or they're complete jerks, they're our family; they're our friends. And at the end of the day, we love them and wouldn't wish anything bad on them, at least I hope not. So spend a few minutes/hours socializing with them.

3. Cook your favorite foods that usually comes out good. This would have to be my biggest problem on Thanksgiving. On a normal day, it takes me less than an hour to prepare lunch/dinner. But on Thanksgiving, I wanna be fancy and cook something new, and it takes me forever! That's not even the worse part. After I spend what seems to be the entire day cooking, it ends up being a disaster, or not coming out the way I wanted it to. On that note, cook the things you are good at, foods that are simple, and foods that won't take you forever to prepare. One meat, one starch, veggies, and a dessert. Keep it simple, or don't cook at all. There will be lots of places with free food. If you do decide to cook, here are some simple recipes that you can try.

4. Shop online on Black Friday, but go to the stores for fun. You can find a lot of great deals online, so why get our of bed earlier than needed to go shopping along with countless others, standing in a long line, for what isn't even that big of a deal. Don't get me wrong, sometimes there are some good door busters, but then I see people buying stuff that's not much of a deal, just because it's Black Friday. Please don't do that. Make sure you're buying things that are great deals.

5. Exercise. Bet you didn't see that coming. Or maybe you did. But anyways, exercise. Yes it's the holidays, and you might be feeling lazier than usual. But after stuffing your mouth with a little too much of everything, the least you can do is walk a mile or 30 minutes cardio. Get that exercise in. Burn some calories.

That's it! I just wanted to take this time to say, I love you all and I'm absolutely grateful for all of you who follow me on social media, visit my blog everyday, and actually read and/or take time to comment. Y'all are awesome and thank you so much!

What are you most thankful for? Let me know, by commenting below. Have a blessed Thanksgiving holiday.

Peace and Love.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

3 Things To Do When Your Children Frustrates You

http://www.freeimages.com/photo/579286
You went through nine months of continuous body changes. We're talking about stretch marks, skin discolorations, acne, not being able to recognize yourself in the mirror, swollen feet, additional pounds, and so much more, only to have it ended by excruciating labor pains. Not forgetting, the Mamas who had C-sections after going through labor pains(the worst). Bottom-line, it was bad, but bearable. Hence the reason, you would do it all over again, or you probably have.

It doesn't end there! You give birth to a precious little baby, that has similar features of your own and that of the person you love. You enjoy smelling them, and kissing their little toezies. Heck, you said hell with your career, and quit your job to be with them. You even breastfed for what seemed like forever, even when you were tired of feeling like a cow. You did it! You did it for them. You did it, because you love them, and want them to have the best, and be the best that they can be.

You couldn't wait until they could walk. You couldn't wait until they could talk. Finally they reach the age where they can walk, and they can talk, and these four words exit their mouth.
"I don't love Mommy." Better yet, you tell them to do something and they say, "No!" It doesn't end there.....no, no, no, there's more.
Because you're the one that has to do most of everything(including disciplinary actions), you end up being the 'bad guy'. While dear Dad is the superhero! And it gets worst, Superhero then decides to say, "The kids are the way they are because of you."  Why? Well because you spend the most time with them of course. Oh yea.... that's right. I taught my child to say they don't love me, and sure, I taught my child to be disobedient and disrespectful. "Good job me", says my sarcasm at it's best.

You can feel my frustration, right? If you're reading this you've probably been there, you're right there, right now, or you might be in the future. While your frustration can lead to anger, don't allow it to. Here are three things to do when your children frustrates you.

1. Identify what's causing your frustration. For most of us, it's because we want our children to behave a certain way, say certain things, and then they don't. Our failed expectations, or lack of control, leads us to feeling frustrated.

What To Do: Instead of focusing on what you can't control, focus on what you can control. We may not be able to control our children's behaviors, words, and emotions, but what we can control are the causes and the effects of them. The causes are the things that leads our children to behave a certain way, that we agree/disagree with. The effects are our reactions and the consequences for their inappropriate/appropriate actions. Don't ever allow your children to be disobedient and disrespectful to you. Calm yourself down first. Then discipline your children. Help them to learn, there are consequences for everything, good or bad. Reward and praise them when they do things correctly, and don't dwell on the bad things.

2. Confess that your expectations of your children are a little over-the-top. What are your expectations for your children? Do you want them to be obedient and respectful to you at all times? Do you expect your baby to not cry? Do you expect your toddler to eat without making a mess? Do you expect a 4 year old to do everything independently? Do you say things like, he/she knows better(a 3 year old)? Do you think they should be an example for their younger siblings? Do you expect your teenager to not find the opposite sex interesting? Confess your expectations of them to yourself. And think about it. Are they realistic?

What to Do: Have realistic expectations, or have none at all. Although we may not want to admit it sometimes, but our children are a reflection of ourselves. Just like you won't agree with them every time, your child won't agree with you every time. Just like you say hurtful things sometimes, your child might say hurtful things to you sometimes. We can expect the best, but at the end of the day, your child has a mind of their own, and will ultimately make their own decisions.

Sometimes we are so impatient with our children, and fail to realize everything is a process. We expect them to learn things and do things in one-shot. When we know, we didn't. Be patient with your children, the same way you expect God to be patient with you(2 Peter 3:9). Sometimes we want things instantly, and maybe society made us this way(instant oatmeal, drive-thru, microwaves. Etc), but everything is seedtime(calls for patience), and harvest(Genesis 8:22). Plant a good seed in their lives, give it time, and it will harvest.

3. Ask yourself, "Am I praying enough?" Well are you? Sometimes we try to do everything on our own. When we become overwhelmed and frustrated, we wonder why. The bible says, we have not, because we ask not.

What to do: Ask. You have to be specific, but go ahead and ask God for help with your children, and for yourself (Luke 11:9-13). In addition, speak life over your children and over yourself. "Life and death are in the power of the tongue," so speak life. You can't take back your words, therefore think before you speak. Don't say things that can potentially hinder your children for the rest of their lives (e.g. "You are a very disgusting little child" instead say "You are the most well behaved child in Jesus name"). With God all things are possible. Make positive affirmations, even when it seems impossible or non-existent. Remain positive, especially through the toughest times, because that's when it matters most.

Yes, we went through a lot to have our beautiful children. Yes, we want them to be the best person they can possibly be. Yes, they will frustrate us sometimes and that's okay. If you don't know the truth about people,← click the link. Children are people too. We have to be the parents that God wants us to be. We have to be that example, that we may not have had, and that our children need.

Our goal as parents is to train our children. But we cannot effectively train them, if we can't even train ourselves. Don't focus on the things your children are doing wrong, or the things they should be doing right. I know it's hard, I'm right there with you. Be patient with them, stay positive, and have faith that God will work it out.

I hope this helps.

What led to your frustration with your child/children?
Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.

Peace and Love.

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

10 Things Every Dieter Needs

Ever since I've started dieting, I'm always researching things I should be eating more often, and things I should avoid. Yes, I have stolen a cookie from the cookie jar, but I also exercise and eat most of the things that my body truly needs. And so will you. What I've noticed with dieting, the more things you have at home to eat, the easier it is to stick to your diet. Eating out usually leads to eating too much, or eating things that should be avoided. With no further delays, here are the ten things every dieter needs at home.

1. Fruits
What's a diet without fruits right? Having a variety of fruits keeps it interesting. My favorites are bananas, grapes, kiwis, apples, blueberries, and pineapples.

2. Vegetables
Vegetables are good for you, eat it, and make it fun to eat. There are so many recipes online for almost every vegetable. Also some vegetables like potatoes, corn, and peas are good starch substitutes for white rice, pasta..etc.

3. Snacks
Dieting recommends you to eat smaller portions more often. In between meals, snacking helps to avoid feeling hungry. Getting some healthy organic snack options like plain yogurts, nuts, and snack bars are a must. Of course, you can snack on fruits and vegetables, like baby carrots, and any of your favorites. Also I recently sampled Naturebox, and they're pretty good. I loved the coconut cashew, and my 3 year old did too. If you don't have the money for it, there are many other healthy, affordable snack options out there.

4. Proteins
Proteins are a must. I'm a healthy meat eater. Small portions of meat is key. If you're like me, you like to switch up your protein options, right? Well, always keep a variety of proteins in your refrigerator. My favorite protein options are beans(lentils, black beans,& black-eyed peas), tofu, fish(salmon, tuna, sardines, & kingfish), peanut butter, and other meats(chicken & beef). I make a mean bean patty with this recipe. You can use any bean, but the darker bean, the healthier it is.

5. Extra Virgin Olive oil
I try to avoid fried foods as much as possible. So when I do want to fry something, olive oil is a healthier option. It is kinda thick so a little goes a long way. I use it to dress my salads, pan sear my meats, and bake meats, potatoes, etc.

6. 100% whole wheat anything
Get rid of anything white in your pantry. Replace that white bread, white rice, sugary cereals with brown rice, 100% whole wheat bread, and whole wheat or whole grain cereals. You can even buy wheat germs and add it to your smoothies, snacks, and anything else that you eat.

7. Greens
Every time someone says they're on a diet, chances are they are eating salads more than usual. Having greens such as broccoli, cabbage, spinach, lettuce, brussels sprouts, and kale are some great options. You can eat them as a salad, in a sandwich, or added to a smoothie. The darker the greens, the better.

8. Natural Sweeteners
If you're like me, sweet treats are your enemy. Replace white sugar with honey, molasses, or brown sugar. And for those days when you're craving something sweet, dark chocolate is the business. And it's actually good for you. At the end of the day, sugar is sugar. Too much of it is still bad, whether it's natural or not. Avoid it as much as possible, and always use it in moderation. Less is better.

9. Milk
I drink any kind of milk, but I LOVE almond milk. Milk is a good source of calcium, along with other essential benefits. You know what they say, for strong bones & teeth, drink milk.

10. 100% Juice
I use to drink sodas, and other juices that were not 100% juice. Now that I am on a diet, it's amazing how many "juices" have a small percentage of real juice, and lots of artificial flavors. Read the labels of everything you buy. Make sure that it's 100% juice. Juice is naturally sweet, so of course, drinking too much juice is also bad. I try to drink 1/2 cup of juice per day, or none at all. Remember to drink lots of water daily. Find out how much water you should be drinking a day.

A common misconception, is that dieting is only for people that are trying to lose weight. While in some cases this is true, being on a diet is a lifestyle. Dieting is beneficial to maintaining a healthy body overall. Think about it. When someone is trying to lose weight, they decide to go on a diet, and maintain an exercise routine. After they lose the weight, don't they eat the same way they did when they were on a diet? Chances are they do. Especially if they want to keep the weight off and remain fit.

Set realistic goals when dieting. You can't avoid everything all at once. It is a process. Moderation is key. Too much of anything is bad. Dieting is a challenge, but well worth it. Your body is a reflection of what you put in it. So put healthy things in, and it will show in the appearance of your skin, and the overall look of your body. Do you need help with the recommended daily intake of each food groups? ← Click the link. Whether or not you are on a diet, these are things you should be eating anyways. The word "dieting" can have a negative connotation(e.g. restrictions, limitations. etc.) for some people. Instead of saying "I'm on a dieting", say "I'm eating healthy". It's the same thing.

I hope this helps! I've opened up with you, now it's your turn.

What are some of your dieting/eating healthy challenges?
 Are sweet treats your enemy as well?
Let's have a heart to heart in the comments below.

Peace & Love.

Wednesday, November 5, 2014

7 Things That Change After Having Children




Almost every woman dreams of having their own child/children someday. I remembered wanting ten children. However, as time passed, that number has drastically dwindled down. They say that having children will change your life. They talked about how precious they are, and how you would just want to kiss their toes and cheeks forever. And while these things are true, there are so much more to children, than just being the little precious gems that they are. So let me fill you in, incase you don't already know. Here are the top seven changes after having children.

Your Body


You and I can both agree that your body will definitely change after having a child. A woman carries a baby for nine months, gains weight every week, eats for two everyday, and every part of  her body stretches to accommodate the adorable growing baby inside her. After she gives birth, her body takes quite sometime to go back to it's previous state. But most times, it doesn't always. Celebrities do not always give the realistic image, of what your body may look like after pregnancy. Some women get darker, while others get lighter. Some women gain more weight, while others lose weight. You might end up with bigger boobs, you might end up with smaller boobs. You might end up with stretch marks, a muffin top, belly wrinkles, wider/smaller hips, and the list goes on. The bottom-line is, some of the body changes are great, but others may take some getting use to. But whatever the changes are good/bad, they are a reminder of what our bodies endured to give birth to our precious blessings from above.

Tip: Get in shape before getting pregnant. After having the baby, maintain a weekly exercise routine.

Your Finances


Do you remember going to a store and being able to buy whatever you want, without any guilt at the back of your mind? Well guess what, after having children, money becomes a big deal. You may have less of it, so you don't want to spend too much of it. All of a sudden you find yourself budgeting, couponing, frugal shopping, driving less, and doing any and everything to help you save money. Which is a good thing. Children are expensive, but affordable. The smarter you are with money, the better.

Tip: Before having children, make sure that you are financially ready. Always have a budget, and try your best to be debt free.

Your Sleep


When you were younger, staying up late was fun. But after having children, sleep will be a friend that you don't see quite often, even if you wanted to. Whether it's waking up at wee hours of the night to check on the kids, or waking up to a crying baby at 5AM everyday, or just getting things done while they're sleeping. Lack of sleep will seem to be inevitable.

Tip: Develop a bedtime routine for the child/children and stick to it. If you have a baby, take naps while they're sleeping. And if you have a baby and another child/children, have patience. They will grow up sooner than later, and then you can develop a bedtime routine.

Your Time


Before having children, you will have all the time in the world. You can freely do whatever you like, anytime you like. However, after children, you will have many moments when your only excuse for not doing something is, "I don't have time ". After becoming a mother it seems like the only thing you have time for are your children. You won't be interesting in staying out late, because the kids have a bedtime routine. You won't be interested in staying out all day, because the kids act grumpy, when they haven't taken their naps. Time, time, time! You will want more of it, but each day seems to go by faster than the previous one.

Tip: Plan out your days by the hour. Having a schedule and sticking to it will help you get more done. Yes, children can be unpredictable. But trust me, attempting to stick to your schedule everyday, even if you have to tweak it throughout the day, helps a lot.

Your Energy


Do you remember when you hated washing dishes, or doing chores around the house? Well after having children, you better learn to love it. You will suddenly find an energy level within yourself, that your parents didn't know existed. From washing laundry, doing dishes, cleaning, cooking, feeding, bathing...etc, you will be able to do it all with your eyes close. Well maybe not with your eyes close, because you might fall asleep on yourself. I am not saying you won't get tired, because you will. But even when you are, that energy will help you push through. Because at the end of the day, A Mama's gotta do, what a Mama's gotta do. If you don't take care of your children, who will?

Tip: On days when you're feeling tired, get that loving husband, baby daddy, trusted friend, or trusted family member of yours to help out. You're not a machine. Everyone needs a break sometimes, even Mamas.

Your Sex Drive


So before having children, you and your hubby/lover were like wild bunnies, having sex whenever you found time. At that point in your life, you all had lots of time. Hence the reason you got pregnant, right? After having children, well between your lack of sleep, to your hormonal shifts, to your energy invested in doing all things pertaining to the kids/house, the last thing on your mind is sex. The kids seem to be always awake and always around. So when can you sneak some love-making in? When they finally go to bed, at which point you're tired, and ready for bed also? Maybe, maybe not. Clearly, your sex drive decreases after kids.

Tip: Just because you don't care to have sex, it doesn't mean you shouldn't. Sex is like Pringles, "once you pop, the fun don't stop". So even if you're feeling tired, once you start you will instantly get that energy boost you need to continue. Also don't wait too late to get your freak on. The earlier you do it, the more energy you'll have, the better. Besides, having sex will help you and not hurt you. A healthy sex life, equals a healthier you, and an even happier husband.

Your Goals


Children can sometimes hinder your goals, but in time you can still achieve them. Whether it's not finishing school, having the career you wanted, owning your own house,...etc., it's never too late. After having children, your main goal will be to comfort, provide, and protect them. You will find yourself doing every and anything with their best interest in mind. You will want to leave behind something, whether it's your beliefs, values, or assets. Life somewhat has more purpose after having children.

Tip: Try to achieve as much of your goals before having kids. If you already have kids, no worries. You can still achieve those goals. They will grow up and/or go to school, at which time you can reach for the stars.

Having children can be awesome. But if you don't have them, it's not the end of the world. I know there are many women and couples that wish to have a child. I remember my struggles with trying to have my second son. For whatever reason you can't, don't allow it to make you bitter, sad, or depressed. In the meantime, enjoy your life without the added responsibility. Be grateful for the things you do have, and never lose faith. God will work it out.

For those with children, they change our lives in so many ways, but ultimately they help us to be better individuals(more mature and more responsible). In most cases, we live a more meaningful and happier life because of them.

These seven things will only be for a time. Children are like weeds, they grow rather quickly. Be patient. In the future, you will have more time, energy, sex, sleep,...etc. You will even appreciate your body more as time goes by. So whether you have kids, don't have kids, or plan to have kids in the  future, I hope you found this post helpful in someway.

Now it's your turn to share something with me, anything. And in case you have no idea, here are some questions you can answer in the comments below. Let's have a  heart to heart.

What changed the most after having your child/children?

If you don't have children, or want to in the future, which change(s) do you fear the most?

If you agree with the top seven changes,  simply drop an "amen" below. 

Peace and Love.




 

Wednesday, October 29, 2014

Sleeping with a Married Man


                                           


Recently, I was watching Dr.Phil. On the show, he had a group of mistresses, women having affairs with married men, saying why they did it. They all said the same things. In their minds, it's okay to sleep with a man who says, he's  separated, or is in a bad marriage. But here's the thing, it's not okay. After watching this show, I just had to add my two pennies. I know there will always be women with issues in this area. So I wrote this for you. All others can read and also add your two pennies. Here we go. 

For the women with an interest, or those sleeping with a married man, before you decide to do it or continue doing it, here are some reasons why you should not.
 
1. He's married. If this reason isn't the most obvious, look at his left hand, preferably the finger with the wedding band on it. He's walking around with a ring on it, and you find him irresistible? Resist! He's taken, off limits, and  not yours. Don't try to steal a man that doesn't belong to you. Find your own. There are lots of single men out there. Find yourself a good one.
 
2. He might cheat on you too. If he cheated on his wife to be with you, what makes you think he will not cheat on you? Many times when men cheat, they're only doing it for the thrill. So if you consider yourself a worthless pawn, to be played by a man seeking entertainment, by all means, knock yourself out. But if you know your value, walk away.
 
3. He does not deserve better. So he tells you that his wife is unattractive after having his children, he says she does not satisfy him, he says she treats him bad, and you believe it's your place to be the better woman that he deserves, right? Well you're not! What he needs to do is stop being a coward, and instead of cheating on his wife, tell her the truth and/or leave her. Rather than complain/lie to you only to get into your underwear. Don't be fooled, his wife isn't the only one being played, you are too. While he has fabricated his awful marriage, that is actually quite peachy, you're feeling sorry for him. Well don't! He just happens to be a happily married, dishonest, unfaithful prick. That's all. Is that the type of man, you see in your distant future? I would hope not. 
 
4. He's not friend material. Here's a classic scenario. You have a hard-working, married man. He appears to be so innocent. He makes it clear that he's only looking for friendship. He seems nice, clean, respectful, honest, and y'all have good conversations. You might flirt with him, and he flirts back, vice versa. Huge mistake! This is an affair seed being planted, whether by you or by him. 

Why are you even entertaining a married man that's flirting with you? Do you not find that a tad bit inappropriate? What kind of woman does he think you are?  It's not because you're hot and he couldn't resist, it's because he has no respect for the vows that he took, or the relationship that he's in. He definitely does not respect you, if he thinks that you're gullible enough to fall for his deception. 

Do you want a friend with benefits? News flash: A married man that sleeps next to his wife every night, while their children are in a nearby bedroom, is not the one.  He belongs to someone else. While you're pursuing him, he probably just slept with his wife the night before. Really? You're okay to sleep with a man that's still intimate with his wife? Because it doesn't matter what he tells you, if he lied to his wife, he will lie to you too.
 
5. It's all flattery. If he wanted to leave his wife, he would've done it a long time ago. And if he says he's staying for the kids, that makes it worse. He is cheating on their mother with another woman, to do what, make them happy? Do you see the point I'm trying to make? He's just flattering you, and you're falling for it. He just wants an affair, something to do, so that he isn't "bored."
 
6. You are pretty. If you feel better about yourself, because a man describes you as being more attractive than his wife, then clearly you have some internal issues. You don't need anyone's validation that you're beautiful. You don't need someone to compare you to anyone else, to feel pretty. While he's fluffing you up and you're feeling better, he's busy hurting another woman by cheating on her. And he's the perfect guy for you, right? Wrong.
 
Ask yourself, "What do I want in life?" I know you might be feeling lonely, and maybe a married man, is the only one that is showing you some interest. But you don't need to be the cause of someone else's unhappiness. Don't say it's the married man's fault because he approached you. You accepted him into your life, therefore you are also at fault. You do not need to be the mediator in a marriage/relationship. You don't deserve to be called a mistress, a side-chick, a home wrecker, because that's not who you are. At least I hope not. You are better than that.
 
Any man that is willing to cheat on another woman, just like you, doesn't deserve you. So when a married man seems interested in you, disappear! Reappear in an area filled with lots of single men, with no commitments. Save yourself from what will be a complete waste of time. Because in the end, it will only cause you more heartache and loneliness.

Did you find this information helpful? How has a married man approached you? How did you, or would you handle the situation? Let's have a heart to heart, in the comments below.
 
Peace and Love,
 
HeartMamaVI

Sunday, October 26, 2014

3 Truths About People

                                            
People are all around us. We can't live with them sometimes, but we can't live without them. And as much as we try to tell ourselves that we don't need people, we do. Our families, our kids, our lovers, our parents, our siblings, our friends, our coworkers, etc., what would our lives be like without them? Now I'm not saying that you can't be a loner, because you can. But at the end of the day, you still have to interact with people. What's life,  if you can't even get along with your own kind? And if you're religious, you should know, that the greatest commandment is to love people. Now that I've finished rambling, here's the truth:

1. People will be a disappointment.  And if you haven't witnessed this for yourself, good for you! But for the rest of us, we know people will say and do things that will hurt us. And if you think about it, why do we get disappointed in the first place? The reason we get disappointed with people, it's because of the high expectations we have of them. Who are we to expect people to know better and do better, when the truth is we don't always practice what we preach. Do you please people all the time? No you don't. The less we expect of others, the less disappointed we will be. There will be no surprises, because we already know our own capabilities.

2. People will be people. It doesn't matter what you do or what you say, people will be people. Just like you, they will do whatever they want to do, whether you like it or not. They will sometimes be selfish, and only seek things that are beneficial to themselves. Deliver yourself from people. Don't allow people to control your emotions. We are always trying to seek approval of others, but the only approval we need is God's. It doesn't matter what they think, do God's will for your life. Sometimes there will be people that you won't get along with. And that's okay. These are the ones that you will have to love from a distance, but always show love. Misery likes company, so ignore miserable, negative people. Don't join them.

3. The only person you can change is yourself. Don't occupy yourself with worrying about people. You will only be wasting your time, and besides there are lots more important things you can invest your time in. Like reading a blog for inspiration. True happiness comes from God, but your happiness/misery depends on the choices you make. Show people how they should be, by being a better person. You can't change people. So focus on the one person you can change, yourself.

It's simple right? These are things you already know, but sometimes we just need a reminder. Remembering these three truths will help you keep your sanity when dealing with people. Because we can allow ourselves to feel all the negative emotions in the world, when it comes to dealing with people, but people will always be people. Forgive them, love them, pray for them, and carry on. Don't allow people to dictate who we are. Be honest to yourself and others.

Are you disappointed with people?  If you're not, what are your tips on dealing with people? Now it's your turn to open up. Let me know, by commenting below.


Peace and Love,

HeartMamaVI

Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Things to Know Before/After Getting Married


"We have been dating for a few months, and this is the happiest I've been in my whole, entire life. He understands me, he respects me, and I believe he is my soul mate, my destiny....this is the man that I want to spend the rest of my life with. I get so excited when he's around me, and when we are apart I miss him so much. I love him, with all my being."

If you are feeling this way, then you're obviously in love, and ready to take your relationship to the next level. Not so fast lovebird! Before you get married there are some things you need to know. It wouldn't be fair to jump in, and not know what you're getting yourself into, right?
Let's start off by getting a few facts/observations out of the way:

Fact #1: Marriage is a choice. You can choose to marry Mr. Wrong and you can choose to marry Mr. Right. But just because you say "I do", it doesn't mean you made the right decision. Not everyone is from God.

Fact #2: If there are things you need to fix in a man, marrying him won't fix it. You can't change a person's character, unless they want to change, or a miracle happens. And while God is still in business to perform miracles, unless the person is willing to receive it, nothing will change.

Fact #3: If there are 'red flags' while you're dating, and you can't see yourself dealing with it "until death do you part", then now is your chance to walk away. Those red flags are your warnings, don't ignore them. No one is perfect, but if you are fully aware of the man's imperfections, don't marry him and expect them to vanish.

Fact #4: Don't marry someone, unless you have seen their 'bad side'. Ever heard the saying, "If something is too good to be true, it's too good to be true." The worse thing you can do is marry someone having high expectations, and later regret it because you are now seeing their bad side.

Fact #5:This may be redundant, but I'll just say it again. The guy you choose to marry, will be the same guy during your marriage. He might end up being better, or  he might end up being worse. It's in the vows, and it's there for a reason. Expect the best, but prepare for the worse. Of course there's more, but that's for another blog.

THE GOOD

If you did make the right decision, then your marriage will be filled with more good times than bad. You will have:
  • A man that will love you, protect you, and provide for you.
  • A man that shares your values and beliefs.
  • A best friend for a lifetime.
  • A handsome man all to yourself to explore(1 Corinthians 7:4,5).
  • A man that will make sacrifices for you.
  • A man that accepts you for who you are.
  • A man that will support you, and be there for you on your quest to replenish the earth.
  • A man that will comfort you and build you up.
  • A man you can have fun with, and will make you laugh more than he makes you cry.
  • A man that fears God and is quick to make amends with you.
  • A man that will be honest to you, even when it may hurt you.
  • A man that respects you and those close to you.
THE BAD

There will be bad times. Don't be fooled, no relationship is perfect. Because just like us, men are not perfect. He will:

  • Make you angry. Because he knows exactly what pushes your buttons.
  • Make you cry, saying things that will hurt your feelings.
  • Not always agree with you on everything. No one will.
  • Do things that will annoy/frustrate you.
Ladies, he will do bad things, but it doesn't make him a bad person overall. I know sometimes we may feel like, "If he loves me, he wouldn't hurt me". While this is true, he is in a fleshly body; in it he will make mistakes. Overtime, he will improve, because he loves you, and doesn't want to hurt you. He will sincerely apologize, and communicate with you to resolve any conflicts that will arise. And this is a sign that you're in a healthy relationship.

THE UGLY

No one gets married, with the intention to divorce. Then again, I would hope no one does that. People marry, with the hopes of making it work, and having a long lasting, healthy relationship. But the truth is, sometimes we make the wrong decisions. We marry Mr. Wrong. While there are some rare cases where Mr. Wrong can end up being Mr. Right, it's very rare. This is the relationship that you should always seek Godly counseling about, and/or get away from. He will:

  • Break your trust over and over again. He will continuously be dishonest to you, whether it's lying to you, cheating on you, stealing from you...etc.
  • Verbally, physically, and/or mentally abuse you. He will hit you, he will try to lower your self esteem, and/or he will negatively mess with your mind/emotions. This environment is unsafe and unstable. Find somewhere safe to stay.
  • Not have sex with you. Not only because he doesn't want to, but because you don't feel comfortable enough to be intimate with him.
  • Not communicate effectively with you. You won't be able to talk to him about anything, without it turning out to be an argument. He won't listen to you and every conversation ends up being a waste, and your problems are never resolved.
  • Stress you out. You would rather stay at work, than to come home to him.
  • Cause you to have thoughts of suicide, but don't do it; he's not worth your life. 
  • Push you away.  He doesn't want to do anything with you. He stays in his lane, and expects you to do the same.
If you do decide to get married, or you are married, patience is key. Successful marriages don't just occur, they are developed. Pray together and always keep God at the center of your marriage. Do not worry, have doubts, or fear. Always remain positive in your relationship, don't let the Devil win. He wants division, because he knows a Godly partnership is powerful. If you believe God has joined you together with this man, put in the work. The results will be totally worth it.

What are your thoughts on marriage? Do you have some points to add to the good,  the bad, and the ugly? Let me know, comment below.

Peace and Love,

HeartMamaVI

Thursday, October 16, 2014

Natures All Natural Product Review

 
I purchased this all natural Shea Butter and Almond oil Shampoo and Conditioner. It's from a small business located in Tortola called Natures All Natural. They were in the Virgin Islands showcasing their products at the hair show. While many people flocked to the pricey/ familiar brands, I figured this starting up business would have the same, or better for less dollars. And guess what, I was right!
 
Smell
 
When I select a shampoo, the first thing I do is smell it. Because the last thing I want, is to be walking around with hair that smells like Castor oil mixed with vinegar. The smell is AMAZING! Like while writing this review, I literally sniffed it 20 times.
 
Lather
 
I love to get my money's worth when purchasing a product, therefore I want it to last me a long time. This bottle seems small, but a little goes a long way. My head is not small, and I have a full head of thick hair. The first wash: I pumped three times, applied to my wet hair,  shampooed the hair to removed all the product build up, and then rinsed. It did not lather as much, because my hair was extremely filthy. So after I rinsed, I repeated. The second time I only used two pumps, and it lathered up nicely! If you're like me, a nice lather always make you feel like your hair is becoming super clean.
 
The Feel of My Hair
 
As soon as I applied the product to my hair, it instantly felt silky smooth. So I thought it was because of all the products I had in my hair. So after I rinsed it out and repeated, OH MY GOSH, my hair was in smooth heaven. Usually after shampooing and conditioning I need a detangler to get the knots out, but with this, NOPE! All I did was sprayed a little water to my hair and combed it out. My hair feels clean, soft, and smells awesome!
 
Price

This shampoo and conditioner cost $15. I can't remember the exact size of the bottle, so I'm guessing it's a 12/14oz bottle. For an organic/all natural product, I'd say 15 bucks is worth it.
 
This 2 in 1 Shea butter and Almond Oil shampoo and conditioner is amazing! I will definitely be buying a replacement, when my bottle finishes. It's definitely a new favorite of mines.
 
Click this link to contact the owner, if your interested in trying it out for yourself. The image above also has the contact information on the pamphlet.
 
Peace and Love,
 
HeartMamaVI
 

Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Get Rid of that 'Mommy Belly'

 
I would consider myself to be petite. I am 5 foot 3inches and weigh 125lbs. When I tell people that I am on a diet, they give me the look that says, "Diet! You don't need to be on any diet."Although I am petite in clothes, I still have a Mommy tummy. Ever since I can remember, I have never had a flat stomach. I'm a foodie,  and all my weight gain goes directly to my stomach. So when I got pregnant, it got worse. After having my two sons, my stomach had wrinkles near the belly button area and got flabby. I would feel down when I saw how some women, even after pregnancy, had such flat stomachs. I wondered, why couldn't that be me. Some of the things I learned before attempting to get rid of my tummy were:
1. However your Mom's stomach looked after having you, chances are yours might end up looking the same.
2. If you had a big stomach before you got pregnant, you might end up having an even bigger stomach after.
3. Waist cinchers and belly bands don't help you achieve that flat tummy.
4. Your stomach might never look the same after having a child.
5. Crunches and sit-ups are bad for Moms that have diastase recti. ← Click on the link to see if you have it.
6. The only way to achieve a flat stomach is by having a tummy tuck(that's what my doctor said).

While some of these things are true, when I looked at my stomach in the mirror, I just knew I could be doing something more. After having two major surgeries to have my handsome boys, the last thing I want is a cosmetic surgery to fix my stomach. At the same time, I definitely did not want this mommy tummy either. If you follow me on Facebook , you would know that I started dieting and exercising on August 26, 2014. My waist was 30.5 inches and my stomach was 32.5 inches. That might seem small to you, but on a slim frame, not so much.
I was determined to lose my stomach. But to do so it required me to be consistent. Here are the things that I am doing:

1. Dieting. The only way to lose your stomach is through your kitchen. You are seriously what you eat. I am not trying to lose weight, just inches. So to do so I have to cut out the foods that cause me to maintain my big tummy in the first place. Oily foods(pizza, fast foods, etc.), excess starch, sweet desserts(cakes, buns, donuts, etc.), and juices are my enemies. I allow myself one cheat day per week(a day that I can eat something not so healthy), but when I do cheat I add an extra workout session. 

2. Exercise. I exercise 3-5 times a week for 25-30 minutes . If you are trying to lose weight, I would recommend exercising daily, even if it's just walking. Currently I am using the Your Shape Fitness Evolved 2012 for Xbox. Let's just say I am now thankful to my husband for getting me this 2 years ago. It has every exercise imaginable. My favorites are yoga, cardio boxing, and the shape and burn abs workout sessions.

3. Wrinkle cream. It helps to give your stomach a firmer look. Currently I am using Nerium(bought on ebay) and it's somewhat effective. When I look at my personal before and after photos, I see the difference, but then again I can't be certain it was just the cream(exercise helped).

4. Splinting.  A splint is basically a belly band. While it recommends you wear it all day and all night, it's too hot and uncomfortable. So I usually wear it when I'm working out, or on cool days while I'm home with the kids. But if you can wear it all day and all night, do it. It helps with burning the fat from your stomach, proper posture, and keeping your separated walls together.

The Results




 My waist is now 29.5 inches and my stomach is 28 inches. I haven't reached my goal as yet, but as you can see, the results so far keeps me motivated. When I reach my beach body goal, I will share my personal photos(topless). I'm almost there! If you want to know more information on my exercise routines, dieting tips, or anything regarding getting rid of that tummy, comment below.

Remember, eating right is the most effective way to lose that mommy tummy. And even though our bodies are a constant reminder of what we endured to make our beautiful children, we can become healthier to be there longer for them. The imperfections we can't change, embrace them, don't let them change you. You are beautiful regardless.

Peace and Love,

HeartMamaVI

Disclaimer: I am not paid by anyone to promote anything mentioned above these are things  that I purchased or were given as a gift.